Hey NFL! Let Me Fix Your Replacement Ref Issue.

The NFL has quite the issue at the moment.  The joke that is the replacement referees.  From out and out favoritism to awful calls, it makes the game a little less fun to watch.  You cannot blame them, though, they have been put in an unfortunate position, learning on the fly what it usually takes years to grasp.

It makes you sort of miss the awful calls from the refs that are currently locked out.

I was watching the Steelers vs. the Jets on Sunday, and I cannot remember the players involved, I just know there was a pass interference call that negated a pretty fantastic football play of smash mouth destruction.  After all it is part of why we watch the game, to see the hardest hits.

Then came the story yesterday LeSean McCoy of the Eagles claiming that a ref told him to have a good game because it would be good for his fantasy team.  Even if he was joking, which he most likely wasn’t, this is a serious allegation.  Of course McCoy could be fabricating the story in an effort to force the league’s hand and giving the refs their demands.

Then the news that other refs were let go because of their allegiance to teams in the league, not really the first time but you do not really want to see a ref high five a player after a touchdown.  Not that that has happened…yet.

That is why I am asking the league to let me be a scab ref.  I am totally unqualified which makes me perfect for the job.  I love the Bears but for the right price I can rid myself of them.  Also, I would come cheap, throw 80 grand my way and heck I might even look at the rule book.

Also I will add rules to the game.  First off, the football will be filled with beans so anytime there is a pass the mics can pick up their rattling sound.  Also I am only viewing replays on the old Tecmo style 16-bit video.  The flags will be confetti, every penalty a party.  Instead of penalty yards you take a penalty shot, the drunker the players get the more fun the game gets.  Also American Gladiators will be at various stations on field of play to cause obstacles and distractions.

Seriously, NFL, you can make this happen you apparently were frivolous in your hiring of replacements in the first place, I am laying my plan out for you in black and white.  Also, at half time, We will feed Nickleback to a pit of dragons, I know you have dragons NFL, let me have dragons…

Obviously this problem is not  going away anytime soon since both sides are currently not talking the only hope is that the replacements get better or hilariously worse, like threatening to tell a player’s mom after for his next penalty.

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