The Prank War Is On

Yesterday I arrived to my girlfriend’s house after work and I was greeted by her ten year old son. He asked if it was normal that his nose made a crunching sound as he moved it from side to side. Her kids are awesome and I love my time with them. I immediately freaked out.... Read more »

My Fake But Tougher Reasons For My Bum Foot

My Fake But Tougher Reasons For My Bum Foot
I have acquired a knee scooter. Not because I am lazy in one leg but because of a foot thing. I call it a thing because I picture all of you trying to think of what my new affliction is and of me naked. The truth is that the real reason is dumb and not... Read more »

T.J. Maxx Your Return Policy Is Dumb

T.J. Maxx Your Return Policy Is Dumb
Over the weekend I decided I needed summer clothes. There’s no time better than nearly the end of July to realize that. Honestly I hate how I look in shorts and it has been years since I’ve owned a pair. I have a plethora of short sleeve shirts so that was suitable enough. My legs... Read more »
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A Hilarious Year Living With Multiple Sclerosis

A Hilarious Year Living With Multiple Sclerosis
A year ago yesterday I was mistakenly diagnosed with a stroke. Of course someone with many diseases is celebrating this anniversary. I was promptly admitted to the hospital and came to terms with the fact that my life was going to end. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted to move on I would... Read more »

Song By Song Rebuttal To XRT's Most Overrated Songs

Song By Song Rebuttal To XRT's Most Overrated Songs
XRT is one of my favorite radio stations. In fact, since Q101′s demise, let’s face it the new station is not what the old one used to be, I listen to music on my phone. Am I a sellout? Sure, but I’m guaranteed to enjoy the music on my phone more than the radio and... Read more »

My Patchy Beard Is My Dad's Fault

My Patchy Beard Is My Dad's Fault
I’ve seen TV shows, movies, and shaving cream/razor commercials depicting a father showing his kid how to shave. At least I feel like I remember that. Who knows sometimes I can’t be sure what I actually remember anymore. I should start at the beginning or at least close to the beginning. My parents split up... Read more »
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Playing Catch Makes Me Feel Old

Playing Catch Makes Me Feel Old
Anyone who has seen Field of Dreams remembers the scene where Ray Liotta is playing catch with his son Kevin Costner. Who knew Liotta could even be his father? Oh, Hollywood, I’ll never get you. It is one of the most memorable scenes in cinema history. I call bullshit. How did those two older gents... Read more »

Q&A With A Chicagonow Bloggger: Jocelyn Geboy: An Unquiet Chicagoan

Q&A With A Chicagonow Bloggger: Jocelyn Geboy: An Unquiet Chicagoan
I am so bad at coming up with original questions. My thanks to Jocelyn Geboy who writes an Unquiet Chicagoan for coming up with compelling and interesting answers. I had a lot of fun with this and I hope it comes through in the interview. PO: You write a lot and frankly about battling mental... Read more »

Hello My Name Is Patrick Not Pat

Hello My Name Is Patrick Not Pat
After all of these years of silence it is time to make a proclamation. Stop Effing Calling Me PAT!!! Seriously, for some with names that can’t be shortened like Shawn or Tracey it might seem like not a big deal. However, for every Patrick, Anthony, or Katherine let me tell you it is. Yes, there... Read more »
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Two Flat Tires And My Story Told 24 Style

Two Flat Tires And My Story Told 24 Style
If you are a fan of 24 then you might enjoy this post. Even if you are not keep reading this is an entertaining story. The 24 theme is just the way I choosing to tell the story. The story about 2 flat tires on 2 different cars in a 12 hour span. Okay so... Read more »