An Ode to the Get $leazy Tour

You really can't beat this as a come-back post.

The Get $leazy Tour (Ke$ha/LMFAO) is going to hit Chicago like whoa.

Last time I went to see Ke$ha, I was ripping shots with Joakim Noah, told Luol Deng 'sweet three' the night they beat the Heat (the first time, reg season) and tried to pretending bopping to music next to Derrick Rose was no big (yeah I said bopping, you can read all about that night here).

Joakim Noah

Anyway, this time around there's outfits and about 10 other girls going. It's gonna be on a whole other level. This is the ultimate show. Ke$ha and LMFAO are people you legit want to party with, not some douche you pay to see because you 'like their music'. F that. I want to get rowdy and wear glitter.

So much so, that I've written a poem to commemorate this joyous event. Ps tickets are still available so come join in the greatest concert of the year!

Ps Ke$ha, Redfoo and Skyblu I'm totally down to hang out after the show. DM me @XimenaTalks.

Alright here it is:

Twas the Night before Getting’ $leazy Poem

Twas the night before The Get $leazy tour, when all through the clubs
Not a creature was stirring, not even at the pubs.
The fishnet stockings were hung by the dumpster with care,
In hopes that Ke$ha soon would be there.

The cannibals were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Jack Daniels danced in their heads.
And mamma in her Jesus necklace, and I in my blue lipstick and cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long disco nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The glitter and broken beer bottles scattered across the floor
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature gold trans am, and eight tiny bottles of beer.

With a sick and sexy-fied driver, so hot and dangerous,
I knew in a moment it must be Miss Shameless.
Feeling more baller than P. Diddy on a Saturday night, her coursers they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Bud! now, Becks! now, Amstel and Newcastle!
On, Corona! On, Coors! On, Guinness and Miller!
To the nearest bar! to the front of the bar!
Now chug away! Chug away! Chug away all!"

So up to the house-top the motley crue flew,
With the sleigh full of glitter, and LMFAO too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The clinking and clanking of each glass bottle with its high alcohol proof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the group came with a bound.

She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of glitter she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a crack whore, just opening her pack.

She had that glitter on her eyes! Her stockings were ripped all up the side!
They were dancing like they were dumb
And their bodies were going numb
I felt like they would be forever young

‘We’ve got our hot pants on and up
You best believe we’re ready to get you pumped!’
She said more to herself
And I laughed when I saw them, in spite of myself!

Redfoo and Skyblu really seemed to enjoy to shake that
They kept shouting, ‘ Get a I’m in Chicago, trick! Welcome mat.
A wink of her eye and a shot from their bottle of whiskey,
Soon let me know that this wasn’t risky.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
And filled all the fishnets, then shuffled with a jerk.
And putting their hands up to the sound,
They said ‘Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots! Let’s head to the bar and get us  a round’!

They sprang to her gold trans am and gave her team a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight,
"Happy Get $leazy Tour to all, and to all a party rock-night!"

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