32 Things That Are Guaranteed to Happen

This is the kind of stuff that is so annoying because it always happens. It's a good thing they aren't horrible:

  1. The guy in front of you is always going where you're going.
  2. When you are chopping vegetables the one that flies never goes forward, it always goes backward, onto the floor.
  3. The tallest guy is always sitting in front of you at the movies.
  4. When you vacuum as soon as you are done and unplug, you start to walk away and see something you missed.
  5. They close off the street just as you get there.
  6. The guy in the right lane changes to the left right in front of you because he saw you coming.
  7. The batteries go bad just as you sit down in your airplane seat.
  8. After you've just had a 30 minute conversation on the phone, you lose the connection just as you're leaving your call back number.
  9. You're taking a prescription medication, you drop it and it goes under a table where you can't get to it.
  10. You knock something like a little clock off a nightstand and it goes underneath the bed.
  11. You always have to wait for an elevator except for the one time you have to run back to get something you forgot.
  12. You hit every red light when you're in a hurry, and catch all the green when you're not.
  13. You rush to get to any appointment just in the nick of time, and then you wind up waiting forever.
  14. No matter how careful you are, there is always one little bit of marinara sauce that happens to get on your shirt.
  15. And, it only happens when you're wearing a light colored shirt.
  16. Your lawn mower runs out of gas when you only have one or two rows to complete.
  17. And, of course, the same thing happens with the snow blower.
  18. You drop a piece of paper and it doesn't get blown by the wind until you are just about to get your fingers on it.
  19. The phone message someone left for you isn't written clearly enough for you to distinguish the 3 from the 8.
  20. Someone leaves you a voice mail and they say their return number too fast for you to catch it the first time.
  21. The guy in the right lane pulls out in front of you and then just drives slowly enough that he makes the light, but you don't.
  22. You're waiting forever for the oncoming car so you can turn, they don't use their turn signal and they do make a turn.
  23. Someone sitting way back there puts their luggage in the overhead compartment where you are sitting.
  24. The person in front of you in line just got the last seat.
  25. You just drove way out of your way and the place is closed today.
  26. You just entered the wrong password.
  27. The thing you're wife told to find on the shelf isn't where it's supposed to be. Until she has to get it instead.
  28. The noise your car is making is annoying until you pull into the repair shop and you can't get it to repeat.
  29. Same thing happens when your television is on the fritz and the guy shows up to fix it.
  30. You packed it. Right?
  31. The flashlight worked the last time you used it.
  32. You think you'll remember the last thing you were going to write down so you don't write it down. And you forget what it was.

Alright. Stuff happens to you, too. Ready, go!

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    Born in Chicago on the South Side, grew up and wound up raising our three daughters on the North Shore, moved to remote Northern California for ten years, and returned to the South Loop in 2014. Apparently, I didn't get very far. Still own a packaging business that specializes in manufacturing board games; the company is more than eighty years old, founded by my grandfather in Chicago. But, I got my BA in Journalism and somehow was able to utilize that in hosting a Beatles radio show on a small market radio station in Eureka, CA for 12 years. I never switched my allegiance from Chicago sports teams, and don't think poorly of me for being a fan of both baseball teams (they are both from our town, People!!). Love the Hawks, was a season ticket holder during all the MJ years, and (gulp) pull for the Bears. I love our city's restaurants, all the great cultural opportunities, being outside, and going to the wonderful museums. I'm very proud of this city, and am absolutely thrilled to be living downtown in the city I call home. Oh, and I am pretty opinionated about news and politics. I hope you don't mind.

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