Guess which quote below came from a real person and not fake news designed to be so absurd that you can only laugh:
Is it (A) a pregnant woman describing her great relief upon learning her rape was illegitimate:
"'Being violently coerced into having sex was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, so I take comfort in knowing it wasn’t actually rape,” Byars said of the vicious encounter ...'Not only is this knowledge a blessing for me,' she continued, 'but it will no doubt bring great hope to the tens of thousands of women who are forcibly and savagely impregnated in the United States every year.'"
...or is it (B) Todd Akin, admitting he made a huge mistake:
"In hindsight, I guess instead of using the words 'legitimate rape,' I should have used the words 'I am an unforgivable, unrepentant, and unconscionable subhuman dickhead.”'
...or is it (C) Mike Huckabee touting the virtues of "horrible" rapes:
"'Ethel Waters, for example, was the result of a forcible rape,' Huckabee said of the late American gospel singer. One-time presidential candidate Huckabee added: 'I used to work for James Robison back in the 1970s, he leads a large Christian organization. He, himself, was the result of a forcible rape. And so I know it happens, and yet even from those horrible, horrible tragedies ... life has come and ... those people are able to do extraordinary things.'”
...or is it (D) Todd Akin touting the virtues of the female uterus?
“'From what I understand, there’s nothing that the uterus doesn’t know.' ...Rep. Akin said that given the uterus’ extraordinary powers of detection, the female reproductive system should be America’s secret weapon in the war on terror.
'If we posted a uterus at every airport and a bunch of them along the border, I would just love to see an evildoer get past defenses like that,' he said. 'Not gonna happen, folks. Nothing fools a uterus.'
The answer is ...
If you guessed (C), crazy-talker of the day, former Governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, you're right!! Send in a SASE and your autographed windbreaker will arrive in the next ten business days. Other Answers/Sources: (A), (B), (C), and (D)
And now imagine these two gentlemen on the same ticket:
Akin: I think gender bias in the workplace is a major issue, but from what I understand, in legitimate cases of discrimination, women have the ability to just grow a penis and get promoted.
Huckabee, on clean-up duty: I personally know many talented women over the course of my career who were turned down for a male option with equal or worse qualifications. It's a terrible thing to see this kind of gender bias up close...but since I'm the guy who got promoted instead, I think it's fair to say great outcomes can come of terrible circumstance and obvious injustice.
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