poets & quants

It’s finals time! So this post is a group effort from my classmates, who have captured an uncannily sharp snapshot of b-school life in haiku. It could be just the hypertrophied quant side of Booth students, but it appears to be a curiously universal affliction: once we identify a haiku in print, it’s like we have to count syllables as we read. As if we don’t trust the haiku writer, as if the poem is less poem and more statement of fact if the beat doesn’t tally up right. I think both are true actually.

So that I spent way too long screening poems, fingers tapping the table to the count, is thoroughly defensible and absolutely the best use of my time. Never mind the opportunity cost that is attentive classroom learning and finals cramming. For now, we present...

 

The Booth Haiku Gallery: A 360-Degree Portrait of the MBA Life

 

I took one class in

Competitive Strategy

Corner office, please.

 

Can’t count syllables,

But that shit is for pussies

I’ll be your boss soon

 

Existential q:

I-Banking or Consulting?

Neither, idiot.

 

What is important?

Assets? Liabilities?

Neither. Cash is king.

 

Sorry, Professor

We cannot price the option

We have drawn a chart

 

Sorry, Professor

I did not do the homework

I was on Facebook

 

Dear Hipster TA,

Your pants, they are far too tight

You give shit comments

 

Dear Super Hot Prof,

Your pants, they are far too tight

I can’t concentrate

 

Dear Super Hot Prof,

Your pants, they are far too tight

Love, Your Camel Toe

 

Why an MBA?

Drinking gin alone is sad

Tastes better with friends

 

People act stupid

Always bring a camera

Blackmail pays off, too

 

High school geek I think

Good friends? I think not

She's a first-time cool

 

Dear Lu Zingales

If you don’t win a Nobel

You’re still Palin’s fave

 

Dear Liberal Left

You don’t exist here, of course

B-school means cuff links

 

Hey, Warren Buffett

I love you but please pipe down

About Deb’s tax rate

 

All the world’s a stage

Except for the MBA

It’s more like high school

 

Nobody here’s read

Then We Came to the End but

Because we’ve lived it

 

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Comments

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  • Warren Buffet pays
    A much lower tax rate than
    His secretary.

  • That is correct, sir!
    But then Chris Christie suggests:
    Warren, just write a check.

  • For Chris Christie's sake!
    If one-percenters write checks,
    The deficit shrinks.

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