Category: NFL

I Lost My First Fantasy Football Game of the Season

The world is fucked, and we are getting fucked with it. ISIS beheadings, Ferguson, Missouri, havoc in Hong Kong, ebola in Texas, white Bengal tigers eating unsuspecting New Delhians, minding their own business by hopping over protective zoo railings and invading dangerous predator dens, and I lost my first fantasy football game of the season.... Read more »

My Fantasy Football Team Name is Better Than Yours

Great as they were, I couldn’t decide on any of the fantasy football team names my son suggested. My favorite, LeBron James Has the Worst Breath Ever It Smells Like Rotten Fish Going Up His Rectum, exceeded the cbssports.com fantasy football name character-limit, rendering my son’s cerebral effort in vain. So I did what I... Read more »

Fantasy Football Team Names My Son Suggested

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. No, I’m not talking about Christmas or when I invite the neighbors over to line up and motorboat my man-tits. Rather, I’m referring to fantasy football season, something with which I share a love/hate relationship, as I’ve previously outlined here and here. It’s like my relationship with... Read more »
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    David Telisman

    I am a vitamin D-deficient former Floridian--who, despite the spring...er...extended winter--loves Chicago. I contradicted convention (and common sense) by moving FROM the beach to the Midwest, but Lou Malnati's and any Italian beef sandwich reinforce that I made the right decision. I also got a wife and two sons out of it, and I would do anything for my family, except miss a Miami Hurricanes football game. This is my take on fatherhood. You can contact me at david.telisman@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!

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