If July 4th is America's favorite day of the year, July 5th is likely its least favorite. As the country returns to work/school/real life after a day of beer, BBQs, fireworks and other patriotic things, a collective groan of regret and hungover headaches is sweeping from sea to shining sea. Likely, you also have the red and white blues.
But there is a path to post-4th of July recovery. Follow the following five steps, and you'll be as patriotic as ever (at least until the next July 5th).
1. Coffee and a bagel
Okay, first things first: caffeine and carbohydrates. These two magical substances will fill the void in your stomach that can only be created by copious amounts of grilled red meat, beer from American flag adorned cans and chanting "USA! USA!" until your throat went hoarse. Once you start feeling whole again, it's time to move onto something more basic.
You know that water cooler in your office? Grab the entire thing, bring it to your desk, stick a straw in it and stay hydrated. It was 102 degrees yesterday, and is supposed to hit 104 degrees today. If by some miracle you managed to avoid being dehydrated on the 4th, today you will sweat away all your hydration. Drink away.
3. Slowly ease out of "AMERICA" mode
Yesterday was an all out America-fest and, though I totally support this country, there is a difference in patriotism on a daily basis and the super-Hulk-crazed patriotism that reigns on the 4th of July. Instead of quitting the Red, White and Blue pride cold turkey (Thanksgiving pun unintended), slowly ease out of it by tapering off the USA references. Perhaps put the Frances Scott Key Pandora station on, mixing "Star Spangled Banner"-type songs with run-of-the-mill classical. Fix an American flag patch to your work bag, rather than rocking the full American flag bandana. You'll be at normal patriotic levels in no time.
4. Get caught up on the rest of the world
Though America only has eyes for itself on the 4th, the rest of the world actually keeps spinning per usual. Get reconnected with the globe by catching up on what happened yesterday. One big thing you probably should know: scientists may have figured out how the universe is held together. Also, your internet may crash on Monday. Here is a quick rundown of the latest news from AP.
5. Plan your next 4th of July
For most people, Independence Day is a wonderful tradition worth the pain of the day after. So why not start planning how next year's 4th of July can be even more spectacular? Plus, with a little pre-planning (and a prayer that the temperatures won't rise above 100 degrees) you won't have to drink an entire water cooler the next day to feel human again.
What did you do for the 4th of July? Got any other 5th of July recovery tips to add? Did anyone else feel like Kanye West in "Homecoming" watching fireworks over Lake Michigan? Let us know! Comment below or tweet us @Chicago_U. Plus, vote in the poll to let us know how you're surviving today!
(Photo Credit: Flickr/Gamma Man)