2017 was definitely the year of sexual harassment allegations coming to light. Unless you are Mike Pence and refuse to be near a woman who is not your wife, you need a plan, a guide of sort to avoid sexual harassment charges against you. Otherwise you may lose your career over something that makes no sense to you. As an attorney, please feel free to consult this list if you aren't sure what to do. If you can remember these 12 simple rules, you will be fine.
- Nobody wants to see your dick. If you are going to meet with a co-worker and you think to yourself, "I wonder if they want to see my dick?", the answer is that they do not want to see it.
- Nobody wants to see a photo of your dick. While not as bad as number one, it's still awful and if you send a dick pic to a co-worker remember that you are a garbage human being.
- Giving a sex toy to a co-worker is not a good gift. It's even worse if you ask them to let you use it on them.
- Telling a woman you work with that she has a nice ass is not a compliment. She's there to work, not to be evaluated by you.
- When traveling for business, your co-worker does not want to come back to your hotel room and assumes if you invited her up there to discuss something work related that you will actually be discussing something work related.
- If your co-worker does come to your hotel room thinking that they will be discussing work with you, this is not code for they want to watch you shower. Nobody wants to watch you shower. You are gross.
- Don't just start kissing someone. They don't want that to happen. If you think they are giving off a vibe please note that you are completely wrong.
- No woman in your office wants to be hugged by you. She wants to do her job and her job isn't to hug you.
- Even if you are a masseuse, you shouldn't give a co-worker a massage. They don't want you to touch them. You are disgusting.
- Telling a female co-worker how much better they'd look with bigger tits is not you being helpful. You offering to pay for them doesn't change that this is wrong.
- You shouldn't have a door that you can lock with a special button at your desk in case a co-worker doesn't feel comfortable and wants to leave.
- Never forget that you are gross and that nobody at work wants to date you, sleep with you or see your dick. They just want to do their job and for you to do your job without raping them or making them feel uncomfortable.
Hopefully that is simple enough. Follow these simple rules and you'll avoid trouble, not make anyone feel uncomfortable and keep your job. Note that if you are a politician, you can do any of these things and keep your job.