The keys to staying married

The keys to staying married

There are a lot of signs that getting married isn’t right for you.  If your boyfriend says, “Baby, you know that I’d never hit you, but …” then he’s probably not a keeper.  If you need marriage counseling because you can’t get along before you are married, it’s time to realize that there a lot of other fish in the sea.  If you are hooking up on your bachelor or bachelorette party, you might not have your single ways out of your system.  If you think that you don’t want to get hitched, but would rather do that than deal with the fallout of calling it off, you need to grow a pair.

 When people come to me for an Illinois lawyer referral, I let them know that I can’t guarantee them a result.  That said, I let them know that if we follow certain predictors of success, it increases the chances of a good result in the end.  Over time, most of these cases work out great.

 There are more than 850,000 divorces in the US every year.  41% of first marriages end in divorce.  There are a variety of reasons for this of course, but if we use predictors of success then if you are getting married you can feel a lot more secure that things are going to work out.  Here are some of the keys.

  • If you are over 25 when you get married, the chances of it ending in divorce decrease by 24%.
  • If you went to college, you have a 13% less chance of the marriage not working out.
  • Living together before marriage can reduce divorce by up to 40%.
  • Blue states have lower divorce rates than red states.
  • If your parents were in a good marriage, it’s 70% likely you will be too.

 Thinking of these things isn’t very romantic, but it sure is practical.  The biggest of these keys though has to be the age at when you marry.  In fact, if you wait until you are at least 30 years old, the divorce rates plummet even further.  That’s of course because you are likely much more mature and more settled in your ways at that point as compared to a 20 year old who is probably going to change a lot in the coming years.

 If it was up to me, I’d make it a law that you can’t get married before age 25.  And any marriage should be required to have a pre-nuptial agreement.  And if you want to get married you’d have to certify that you’ve been in an exclusive relationship with that person for at least 12 months.  No more weddings where the couple says “We dated for a month and it just felt right, so why wait?”

 None of this would be good for lawyers which should tell you that it’s a good idea.

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