I tell people all of the time that getting divorced isn’t ideal, but if it’s the best thing for your life you should do it. I’ve been meaning to write a blog post along those lines, but then heard a great Louis C.K. bit that sums it up way better. So hear is what he and other comedians have to say about it.
"Let me tell you something. And this is important, because some day one of your friends is gonna get divorced. It’s gonna happen. And they’re gonna tell you. Don’t go, “Oh, I’m sorry!” That’s a stupid thing to say. It really is.
First of all, you’re making them feel bad for being really happy, which isn’t fair. And second, let me explain something to you: Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. Because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It’s really that simple. That’s never happened — that would be sad. If two people were married, and they were really happy, and they just had a great thing, and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times. Literally zero. Ray Charles has killed more Jews than happy marriages have ended in divorce.
So if your friend got divorced, it means things were bad and now they’re—I mean, they’re better. They’re not good. Life is shit wall to wall. But they’re better, so you should be happy."
And from Greg Giraldo (who was also a lawyer)
George Bush says two gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. The sanctity of marriage. The sanctity. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you? Sanctity of marriage? You could - You could get married in Vegas at 5 o'clock in the morning to a toothless crack whore you met fifteen minutes ago. Not - Not only do I think gay people should be allowed to get married, I think they should have to get married! Because I'm a little tired of their happy-go-lucky lifestyles. They - they, should have to suffer like everybody else. I'm - I'm sick of walking by these sidewalk cafe's you see these guys sitting there they're all tan and fit and muscular, they're like 60 years old but they look great cause they don't have someone at home sucking the will to live right out of em. And - and if - if you had to be married; being married to a guy would be great. Could you imagine saying something, and having the words you said interpreted exactly the way that you intended your words to be interpreted? That would be a nice touch, wouldn't it? "Remember what you said ten years ago when we were driving in the car on the way to my mother's house?" -- "No." -- "Oh me neither! I'm a dude. Forget it. Nevermind. I was - I was about to torture you with some fake transcription skills that I knew you couldn't really call me on, and then I was going to punish you for not remembering something that you actually never did in the first place, but instead since I'm a dude I'll just shut up, we can just drive along, maybe listen to music, have a good afternoon after all. Being married to a guy would be great. I did - I didn't even used to believe in soulmates, the whole concept of soulmates, I never believed in soul mates until I saw Siegfried and Roy...cause there you got a gay Lion-tamer who hooked up with another gay Lion-tamer! What are the odds of that happening?!? Talk about holding out for Mr. Right, that seems like a pretty beautiful story. People say they can't find someone who shares their interests, two German dudes play with Tigers in the middle of the desert, that doesn't seem vaguely Biblical to anyone else?
I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait" (ok, that has nothing to do with marriage, but it’s hilarious).
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love. If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for forty-five minutes straight, you ain't been in love. If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain't been in love. And the only thing that's stopped you from killing this motherfucker was a episode of CSI: "Oh man, they thorough. I better make up. They might catch my ass.
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