First comes the wedding phase. You find yourself going to 5-10 weddings a year. Some are great friends, some are acquaintances. Every now and then you get dragged along as a date or maybe you go to the wedding of a relative. Some times it’s a big party and a blast, but the more you go to, the more the idea of an open bar and the chicken dance isn’t that exciting. Some day you wake up and realize that you don’t have any weddings scheduled for that year and you are actually excited about that.
The next phase is the baby phase. Having yours is the most amazing thing in the world. It’s pretty cool to see close friends have them too, especially if you can all hang out. But when the old friend you haven’t seen in years lets you know how incredible his kid is because he’s walking at 8 months and all of the kids in his play group didn’t walk until 10 months then it can get to be a bit much. But having kids is the greatest even when they are ruining your life. J
I assumed that the next phase would be the final phase which is death or maybe re-discovering travel or having nothing to do on the weekend when the kids have gone to college, but I certainly didn’t plan on seeing so many divorces. I know the statistics for divorce, but it was rare for me to go to a wedding and not firmly believe that those marriages would last.
But as I look closer at the marriages around me that are falling apart, most aren’t of friends from years ago, but instead I’ve seen it happen a lot to the parents of children that go to school with my kids. And the common thread they seem to all have is that they are almost all surgeons of some kind.
Then over the weekend I stumbled upon this hilarious article of a surgeon who clearly thinks the world of himself, but despite all of his excellence, hasn’t found anybody who will love him as much as he loves him. So he’s looking to his network of doctor friends to set him up with his ideal mate and he has very specific requirements. Hint, fatties need not apply. That means you if your dress size is higher than 2.
And if you can help him find his mate or even just someone that he’ll want to go out with, he has rewards that are awaiting you. First date is $100. If he makes it to the 3rd date he’ll give you Botox. If date #5 happens you can get Lasik surgery for free. What a deal!
Clearly this guy is delusional and an ego-maniac. It reminds me of one doc that I know who is getting divorced. His soon to be ex is many of the things on this list: Very pretty, size 0, 10 years younger than him, had all the kids he wanted (even though he doesn’t do anything for those kids), etc. But after the dust settled, there was no real love and since she doesn’t work, he views her as spoiled. Well, that’s what he wanted and if she is spoiled, it’s a product of his own creation.
I’m sure that every surgeon out there isn’t an egotistical maniac with delusions over their self worth, but so many of them sure appear to be. I get that medical school and residency is hard and requires them to give up a big portion of their lives, but something happens in that time (or maybe when they get out of residency and start making a boat load of money) to make them think that they are better than everyone around them.
As for the doctor in this article, I think it’s awkwardly awesome and I can only hope he gets his own reality dating show or becomes the next Bachelor. I just hope he gets a pre-nup (or doesn’t) because this will never end well.
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