My wife and I have four friends who are going through divorce right now. What do they all have in common? They all have three or more kids.
Ok, that’s a small sample size. So I started keeping track of the people that called me looking for a divorce attorney. A bunch were short term marriages (e.g. six months or less and others were older couples on their second marriages), but for the ones that were in their 30’s and 40’s, 14 out of 22 of them had at least three kids, with one family having a whopping seven kids.
I love my (two) children, but I can certainly see how all of those kids could put some strain on a marriage. When you’ve got three that means it’s much harder for one parent to take both of them, especially if they are all in different activities. If Dad is at dance practice with his daughter and Mom is constantly shuffling their two boys to basketball practice, it doesn’t leave a lot of down time. What it does lead to for some people is a feeling of suffocating and wondering what the hell happened to their life.
Most people are mature enough to realize that they have to be a little more selfless for the sake of the children they chose to create, but others basically say forget it and deal with their stress by cheating. To them, their life has become so boring that the thought of being with someone new is exciting, even if they don’t realize how short-sided that line of thinking really is.
Of course this is an overly-simplified analysis, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to it. I know in my life that if I want to have a weekend away with friends or my wife does, it’s no big deal. Taking care of two kids isn’t that hard. But three is really a lot harder than two. When you are all around, you can’t both have one on one time with a child, someone’s going to be one on two.
So before you have that third child, make sure you really have thought it through. Kids are awesome, but they can also be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
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