This is why J’Marcus Webb is really in trouble

This is why J’Marcus Webb is really in trouble

Chicago Bears sieve, er I mean left tackle, J’Marcus Webb just got arrested for possession of marijuana.  He was pulled over for speeding 11 miles over the limit and apparently the drugs were found while the officer was talking to him.

Aside from the fact that he’s a fringe player at best and could find himself cut over this and/or suspended by the NFL, his biggest problem is that he didn’t get arrested in Chicago where he plays or Lake County, where he lives, but instead got arrested in tiny Pulaski County which is as far south as you can get in Illinois and borders Kentucky.  In other words, it’s the middle of nowhere.

Despite it’s remote location, Pulaski County is the 5thmost common county that I get calls on for traffic and criminal cases in the State.  That’s because I57 runs right through it and the local police sit on the highway and pull as many people over as they can.

To make matters worse, they always require you to show up in court, at least that’s been my experience.  So if you live in Chicago, you will have to drive six or so hours back to court.  The County is making a mint off of people that dare to drive through it.

Beyond that, in the entire county there are only four lawyers.  Two of them are prosecutors, one is the Public Defender (not available for traffic cases or for millionaires like Webb) and the 4th is a woman that works out of her house.  In other words, there aren’t any good choices when it comes to hiring a lawyer.

None of the neighboring counties are any bigger so Webb will be going in to court, most likely, with an attorney that isn’t well known by the Judge.  It’s not often that they get a “celebrity” case like this, so you can bet that the case will get their full attention.

In Cook or Lake County, I’d be confident that Webb would get the charges tossed.  Down in Pulaski County, it wouldn’t shock me if he had to do a few days in jail and/or a ton of community service.

There is literally no worse place in Illinois that this could have happened to him.  His best bet is to probably overpay for an attorney outside St. Louis or maybe Mount Vernon to travel down to Pulaski and see what they can do.  Either way, Webb will have to be there too.  It might be a good idea for him to cue up “My Cousin Vinny” to get an idea of what he’s dealing with, although that movie may be a little more modern that the experience he is going to have.

 

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  • "The County is making a mint off of people that dare to drive through it." That was Boss Hogg's strategy on The Dukes of Hazard tv series. Next they'll be pulling over tour buses and forcing bands on their way to Lollapalooza to do free concerts to offset their fines.

  • In reply to Kim Z Dale:

    Hilarious

  • Why the disgusting screen cap at the top of this piece? How does that relate to the story?

  • Because it makes me laugh. I do it on every post. Door's on the left if it bothers you.

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