Why do some women stay with losers?

I'm fortunate to be in a great marriage.   I'm pretty sure that my wife feels the same way :).

I do know that if when we were dating that things weren't going well, we would have ended it.  There are millions of people in Chicago and if she wasn't right for me or me for her, then we would have moved on and found someone else.

I think most people do that, but I've noticed a huge trend in calls that I get lately which indicates one thing to me.  Many women are staying with loser boyfriends.

The typical call is a woman asking me to help her find a lawyer for something like driving with a revoked license.  When I ask her which courthouse she is being sent to, 9 out of 10 times she will reply that it's not for her, it's for her boyfriend or fiance.  It's almost never for a husband.

So not only is the guy the one getting arrested, it falls on his girlfriend to find an attorney for him.  As if it's her job to fix up his screwed up life.

The other call I get is from a woman looking for a lawyer for a domestic battery case.  Again I ask which court they are going to and they inevitably tell me that it's for their fiance or boyfriend (almost never for a husband).  So the gist is that their man hit them, got arrested for it and now it's on the victim to find an attorney to make the case go away.

None of these women seem to recognize that they are with someone who is pathetic.  Of course I don't give them relationship advice, but just once I'd like to ask them why they don't respect themselves more.  The worst is when they tell me that their guy doesn't have money for an attorney, but "that's ok because I'll pay for the lawyer."  Ugh.  They are just enabling the guy.

Inevitably these men are going to disappoint them again, probably cheat and certainly not create some magical marriage.

Maybe these men are with losers too because the ladies don't respect themselves enough to move on to someone else.  So perhaps they all deserve each other, but certainly they can all do better.



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