Need a good resolution for 2013? Be a good Mom or Dad and stop hurting your kid

Need a good resolution for 2013?  Be a good Mom or Dad and stop hurting your kid








The most common call I get from people who are looking for an attorney referral goes one of two ways:

  1. “The mother of my child doesn’t let me see him.  In fact I haven’t seen my kid for six months. She doesn’t like my new girlfriend.  How can I get to see him and have her stop interfering?”
  2. “The father of my child is not involved in her life at all.  He never calls, doesn’t pay child support and has probably come to see her only three times in the last two years even though I told him he could visit with her any time he wants. How do I get him to do more or can I terminate his parental rights?”

Whether you have a child from a one night stand or from a long term relationship or anything else, if you are doing what these parents are doing, you are committing child abuse.

I may not be father of the year, but I’m a good Dad.  I’m not even telling people that they need to be good.  Just be average.  But if you are telling your kids how awful your ex is and not letting them see that other parent (and not for safety reasons) then you are committing child abuse.  You are placing your failures on your kids.

If you have a kid, but don’t want one, too bad.  If you can’t find time in your busy schedule to spend one day a week with your child then you too are a child abuser and scum bag.  You are basically telling that child that not only do you not care about them, but you hope that they turn out awfully.

Who do you think you are to screw with a kid like that?  It may be uncomfortable for you to see your ex.  You might hate the new person in their life.  Too bad.  You chose to sleep with them so that child is your responsibility.

And no matter how selfish, self loathing or just plain mean you are, who can’t want the best possible world for their kid.  Children, even in their most frustrating of times are wonderful.  And they are just kids.  But you could ruin them with your actions.

So do the world a favor and be a better person in 2013.  As soon as the kid turns 18 you can blow them off like you want to right now.

Safe holidays everyone. 

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  • I found your blog by accident and I have to say, I'm very impressed that there's a real down-to-earth lawyer out there not speaking in "leaglease" and not dancing around the truth. I like that you are straight forward yet seem to have a very balanced POV. It's nice to know there are people like you out there.

  • Thanks much. You made my day. Happy new year.

  • I am an attorney. Judges, guardian ad litems, custody evaluators, and the rest who stick their fingers in the divorce process, also need to get their heads out of their behind. Presently, any allegation is enough to remove a parent from a child's life. Sure, the falsely accusing parent is an abuser of the child and the court system, but the rest should not allow fear to drive their decisions, but apply the facts to the legal standard. Mere allegations are not the standard. If an allegation is proven knowingly false in order to manipulate the process, then prosecute the accuser. Otherwise, the process will never stop. For too long, alienating tactics have been rewarded by the courts.

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