7 crimes likely to happen tonight

7 crimes likely to happen tonight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Halloween, like most holidays, can be a boon for criminal lawyers in Illinois because people often use it as an excuse to act like an idiot.  Here are seven things likely to cause people to need a defense attorney after tonight.

  1. Public intoxication – The bars in Chicago are going to be filled with drunken revelers.  When they leave whether they pee in an alley or puke on the street, many of them will get arrested.  Head to the courts at Belmont & Western and I’m sure you’ll see plenty of them lined up.
  2. Sexual assault – True, Halloween does give every woman an excuse to dress like a slutty nurse, or slutty cop, or slutty maid, or slutty Care Bear, but that doesn’t give you the right to grope them.  Combined with a little liquid courage you can bet that a few guys will be inappropriately handsy tonight.  And it will ruin their life.
  3. Theft – We’ve gotten lots of calls over the years from people who used a costume as an opportunity to act in a way that they normally wouldn’t and that can include shoving something in to their pockets.  There is actually a lot of psychology behind this as the mask practically makes them feel as if they have permission to do it.  Even if you are wearing a Big Bird costume, you can’t leave the 7-11 without paying for those condoms.
  4. Criminal damage to property – Yes, you are supposed to say trick or treat, but when you get hard candy instead of a Snickers bar, that doesn’t mean you can throw eggs at the house, slash tires or break a window.  But it will happen a ton tonight.
  5. Burglary Lots of criminals will be walking the street tonight posing as trick or treaters when in reality they are just looking for vacant homes.  My advice is that one person needs to man the fort, not just to pass out candy, but to make sure the scumbags who’d rob you know that you are around.  Let them rob your neighbor instead.
  6. Unlawful use of a weapon – Halloween isn’t as bad as New Years Eve, but in some parts of the City, super geniuses like to celebrate this holiday by shooting a gun in to the air over and over.  What a dumb way to land in jail.
  7. Battery This might be the number one crime tonight.  Fights at bars.  Fights on the street.  Gang fights when someone heads to the wrong neighborhood.  Cat fights.  The list goes on and on.

This post certainly wasn’t a pick me up, but hey, the law isn’t usually fun.  So here are some fun pictures I found while writing this.

 

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  • "Even if you are wearing a Big Bird costume, you can’t leave the 7-11 without paying for those condoms." Sound advice every day of the year.

  • Halloween has great traditions but several cases come from this night. I didn't ever expect dealing with so many cases from Halloween when I got into law, but there are more than people would expect.

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