Does your soon to be ex have brain control?

There is no case more emotional than a divorce, especially when child custody is involved.  Sensible people go from normally being rationale to acting as if they are dealing with the boogie man (or woman).

Not a day goes by when I don’t hear something along the lines of, “My husband tells me that if we get divorced I’ll never see the kids again,” or “My wife says I’ll be penniless and living on the streets,” or “He told me that because I cheated on him I’m going to lose everything,” or “She’s been telling my mom that she’s going to take the kids and move to Mexico with them.”

What all of these statements have in common is that they are emotionally based threats that involve one person with hurt feelings trying to scare their soon to be ex in to worrying about their divorce.  It makes people crazy and that’s how marketers such as those that call themselves “father’s rights lawyers” prey on the fears of potential clients and get them to sign up, even when their fees are ridiculous.

The law is the law and whether or not your spouse gets in your head and drives you crazy, the law will not change.  Custody is based on the best interests of the child and so is visitation.  You can prevent a kid from being removed from the country and the state if you take proper legal action.  Cheating does not matter legally speaking unless it impacts the safety of a child or you are wasting marital funds.  Do people lose these cases? You bet they do, but they also win plenty of them and you give yourself a great chance of a good result with a strong attorney in your corner.

So if your spouse has brain control over you, ignore them.  Their rantings and threats may be good for coming up with a game plan along with your attorney, but when you let them wreck your life and drive you crazy, they are winning or more specifically, you are losing.   They aren’t the Judge.  They don’t get to make legal decisions.  If they can’t be an adult and work things out with you then get in to court and handle things that way.

And the good news is that there is usually a light at the end of the tunnel to this meanness and game playing.  You just have to get the process going. 

 Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized


Leave a comment
  • I find that hiring amazing counsel -- ya know, the kind recommended by Helfand -- and then pretending you never met that person (your spouse) is the best way to release the death grip some like to engage in during the divorce process. Last I heard, my soon-to-be ex was. . .
    Huh. I can't remember the last time I heard about my ex. HIRE EFFECTIVE COUNSEL!

  • Oh, and following your advice, Michael, has freed me up to blog now, on ChicagoNow!

  • Good for you and glad to hear it.

Leave a comment