20 Things I Want For Christmas (part 1)

 20 Things I Want For Christmas (part 1)

Christmas (and Hanukah) are coming up.  Here is my second annual list of what I want:

  1. There is an Illinois law that says if you sign a birth certificate, you are the Dad, unless you revoke it within 60 days.  There are limited exceptions, but for the most part, if you sign the birth certificate, you are the baby daddy, even if it’s proven at a later time that you aren’t.  There are literally thousands of men paying child support because they made a huge mistake.  This law is terrible and it should be changed to state that if you are proven through a court ordered paternity case, you are off the hook.  I can’t think of any argument in favor of this law.
  2. For my job, I spend a lot of my day on the phone, talking to people that need Illinois legal guidance.  Every now and then you get a long voice mail message and then the computer operator says, “If you still want to leave a message, press 1, to disconnect, press 3.”  WTF.  Really, are phone companies that dumb.  Yes, I stayed on the phone that long, but don’t want to leave a message.  And if want to disconnect, I’ll hit 3 instead of hanging up.
  3. Hey Chicagonow.  The new site looks fine, but bring back the Top 5 blogs listing.
  4. Speaking of being on the phone with clients, if you have a tough name to understand, you can spell it, but no more saying “E as in elephant, D as in dog, M as My God is it annoying when people do this.”  Seriously just say the letters and get on with it.
  5. Let’s pass a law that says to give someone a phone book, they have to have had opted in to receive it.  Every year someone drops one off at my house and office.  Fortunately it gets recycled, but how much paper is being wasted on this stuff.  Does anyone even use the phone book now?  On another note, when I started my own practice, I called the phone book maker to see how much a page would cost.  The back cover was offered at 500k.  A regular page was in the five figures.  I doubt any sane person would spend 1/10th of that now.
  6. I’d like a program THAT DISABLES ANY E-MAIL WHERE THE SENDER TYPES IN ALL CAPS.  UNLESS YOU ARE BLIND THIS IS MADDENING AND SINCE THIS IS ACCEPTED UNIVERSALLY AS A SIGN YOU ARE SCREAMING.  IT’S ALSO REALLY HARD TO READ.
  7. I’d like every pundit to stop comparing people to Hitler.  Obama is not Hitler.  George Bush wasn’t Hitler.  Any great leader isn’t Hitler.  Even Jerry Sandusky isn’t Hitler.  This attempt at shock value never works.  Just stop.
  8. I want the U.S. media to get worked up over a murder case that doesn’t involve a celebrity or a very hot victim or defendant.
  9. Not every personal injury lawsuit is legit, but you aren’t running for political office so let’s agree to be honest about the subject.  Before you make up stuff about bogus lawsuits, do yourself a favor and go see the movie, “Hot Coffee.”  Then we can have an honest discussion.
  10. Forget the labor pains, show me the baby.  If you are talking to a lawyer, the best thing you can do is get to the point instead of going on and on an on about how hard a case has been on your life or how disappointed you are in your employer/ex/neighbor/parents or whoever the case is with, cut to the chase about the facts.  E.g. On this date, this happened, so I want to do x.  This may make lawyers sound harsh, but you give yourself a better chance of making a lawyer want to represent you if you can cut to the chase.  And it would certainly make my life easier.

For part 2 of my list, come back on Wednesday. 

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