Saying he had a "little story to tell," David Letterman revealed Thursday on his show that a staffer on CBS' "48 Hours" was trying to extort the new king of late night for $2 million to keep quiet about sexual affairs the Late Show host admitted having with staffers.
The audience laughed as Letterman described the chain of events, up to
and including meeting with law enforcement officials who told him it
was blackmail. It seems they must have thought it was a joke as he
didn't mention sleeping with coworkers until several minutes into the monologue at his desk.
"I have had sex with women who work with me on this show," Letterman said to no laughter, "Yes I have," he added to raucous laughter and applause.
Letterman had pulled ahead of his rivals this season and Thursday's show could be a ratings hit. Letterman revealed during his taped show Thursday that he testified before a grand jury that a man demanded $2 million from him to keep quiet. He told his audience that this person knew about "terrible stuff" that he had done and was going to write a screenplay about it. Motivated by guilt, Letterman, who recently wed Regina Lasko, said he called his attorney after finding a bag of "evidence" in his car at 6 a.m. After testifying, Letterman delivered a fake check for the sum and the guy was later busted. Appropriately, or not, his first guest on the show was a shell-shocked Woody Harrelson.
With that in mind, we thought it might help to take a load off his back.
So we present you with:
10. It was cheaper this way.
9. His interviews with hot young actresses just weren't creepy enough.
8. All of his guests were in Copenhagen.
7. His ratings were peaking, didn't want to lose his edge.
6. It's what Kanye would have wanted.
5. He was jealous of all the attention Roman Polanski was getting.
4. He's not getting any younger.
3. He figured Leno, Conan, and Kimmel could use the material.
2. Court is a great place to meet chicks.
1. It was the perfect time for an Olympic-size confession.
Filed under: First takes
Tags: affair, David Letterman, extortion, Regina Lasko, sex, Top Ten
Sure, Letterman is confessing about being extorted, but what about the sexual harassment (a favorite topic on the Chicago Bar-Tender, another Chicago Now blog)? Unless he is paying off those charges, he should expect a visit from the EEOC and several lawsuits 180 days later.
I always said that Bob Barker needed to be spayed or neutered, and apparently it is the same with Dave, although, unless it happened a while ago, I wonder why a staffer would do it with the creepy old guy, who, don't forget accused Palin's 14 year old daughter of doing it. That, like confessing to sexual discrimination against employees is only considered another "ratings hit." Should Conan have the Masturbating Bear actually do it to get his ratings back?
I also see that Maureen Ryan closed comments on her official Tribune blog on this subject. I guess she can't let the readership say something not nice about Dave.