I have decided to tell this poop story, so you all can see how poop and I became enemies.
I didn't want to write about something that happened a couple of years ago just because I felt like I should keep these blog posts current, but I have chosen to forgo that rule for this story.
Just a warning though its a little graphic and gross.
It happened when Denver was a newborn and I should have know then that Denver would bring more poop issues into my life than I ever thought possible.
Dylan and Autumn were upstairs playing, so I decided to eat some lunch before they came down and asked for their lunch. So in an effort to eat something quick and kind of healthy. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using, of course all natural peanut butter, because its better for you and to be honest very, very yummy.
So as I sit down to eat this sandwich as quickly as humanly possible. Denver of course chooses this moment to wake up and wants to nurse.
So being a Mommy that means I can also multitask. I grab up the baby and start nursing while enjoying, if not inhaling my lunch. When I notice little bits of sandwich dropping on his head,tummy and legs.
This had happened once before when I tried to eat soup and nurse, not a good choice he was covered that day in Roasted Red Pepper Soup.
So when I look down and see little drops of peanut butter on his head, I do what any mommy would do, I wipe it off and lick my finger. At this point its time to nurse Denver on the other side ,so when I pick him up to switch sides, I notice a big smear of peanut butter on my leg so again I wipe it up with my finger and lick it and that's when I discovered it was NOT peanut butter!
That's right it was poop!
I licked POOP!
On the bright side it was just breast milk poop, so it didn't really have a taste but it of course is not the point.
The point is I ate poop.
I cannot believe how much time I spend thinking about poop, talking about poop looking for poop or waiting for poop.
I realize as a mom you start thinking and talking about all gross body functions like spit up, boogers, pee, and of course poop way more than before kids.
The talking about poop usually starts when your pregnant, I guess as way to ease you into all the poop chatting about to start. You start discussing it with your mom, friends, Dr.'s and sadly your poor husband who is probably clinging to the last memory of you before you found this topic so freeing.
I feel like I spend at least 3/4 of my day on the topic of poop.
I am asking who has to go.
I am changing a poopy diaper.
And the worst of the worst hunting down Denver , because he has pooped in his underwear again! Yesterday he did this five times! At one point he said to me "This is gross".
Ummm yeah,no joke! GO ON THE POTTY!
Which leads me to my next point the other 1/4 of my day is making sure poop goes where it belongs.
"No you may not poop outside."
" No pooping in your sisters room is bad."
"Yes the potty does like it when you put poopy in it."
"Has anyone seen the poop?" -Thats the scariest of all poop questions.-
"You pooped where?" "You are going to run out of underwear."
The joy of motherhood and poop are endless. And that's how poop and I became enemies