I love days when I am feeling so productive. Laundry's done, dishes are washed, all the beds are made. I just feel like I am an army of one. Zipping right along. Dinner on the table. Kids in the tub. You all know what kind of day I am talking about. The kind where when you go to bed that night you're not thinking of all the things you need to do in the morning. I have done my job and done it well.
Well, it has never occurred to me that perhaps a 3 year old may want to feel this way too. But I am almost certain that Denver felt that way yesterday. I know when he climbed into bed last night he breathed a sigh of satisfaction on a job well done.
Here is how his day went.
First, he insisted on wearing his shoes on the wrong feet with duct tape on them. And yes, I let him leave the house that way. I just figured his wonderful teachers would fix it for him with no complaint from him.
Before leaving the house he colored on the table and wall with red marker.
Once arriving home from school he poured out a whole bottle of Windex which I had just purchased all over the rug.
Then after lunch he diapers himself and tells me he is no longer a "big man" but a baby. I quickly remove the diaper and remind school is only for "big men". Lord knows I do not need him to regress in the potty training department.
He unfolds all the laundry I have just folded, it was 5 loads.
While I was waiting for load number 6 to dry I decided to groom the dog. Outside we head to start clipping Vinnie. Denver in his underwear - I'm not even sure where his clothes were at this point. I have never groomed the dog before so I am winging it and Denver is putzing around the front yard. I finally get finished just as the dryer beeps. I clean up the front porch, brush down the dog and head inside.
I go into my room to change my clothes and start folding the laundry. Denver walks in and says "I be cute, Mommy." That I turned around and gasped is an understatement.
He has cut a landing strip down the center of his head. At some point during the clean up of the dog he took the clippers headed up stairs to his closet to give himself a hair cut. He used bare clippers and cut away..... He looked in the mirror and didn't like it at all. I left it that way for awhile because I didn't have time to "fix" it.
After dinner we were having dessert, pudding with whip cream, he thought it would be a good idea to eat this with his hands and rub on his belly.
I clearly was reaching my limit. I took him outside and buzzed the rest of his hair. He is now bald as a cue ball.
I then sent him off with Eric to get a bath since he was now covered in pudding and hair. He took one look at himself in the mirror and started to cry. "I don't yike me with no hair!" And that's why 4 year olds shouldn't cut hair.
See, I know for sure Denver went to bed last night with sigh of satisfaction on a day well done. He accomplished all he set out to do and more.
He also completed part 3 of his plan to force me into the loony bin.