During my research and studies, I kept coming across a couple themes that really stuck out to me. One was kind of odd. I saw no official statistic on it but I kept reading about how adopted people were in one really bad relationship after another and how each one seemed to revolve around their specific control drama. Seeking out something to satisfy that, subconscious, need/emptiness. The other was, what seemed to me, is how much abuse the average Adopted person is put through, both self-inflicted and otherwise.
Tonight, we'll focus on Adopted individuals and Abuse. Next time we can look more in depth at Relationships.
I sat down with several individuals, adoptee's & non-adoptee's, for 1 on 1 interviews. I was excited to see how the results played out.
Sadly but not surprising, nearly 95% of the Adoptee's interviewed had experienced various level's of abuse, both from their adopted families to their significant others. A striking similarity all seemed to share is the amount of punishment they were willing to receive before they'd even admit a problem.
One individual stated that they didn't realize there was any type of abuse going on in their Life, until it was blatantly pointed out to them. It left my mind completely flabbergasted, to say the least.
The saddest part of the whole process, of interviewing adopted individuals, was to learn that each one had some form of abuse coming from their adopted family. Adopted Mothers or Fathers taking out their frustrations. Resentful siblings. Close friends. Even having the extended family, seemingly consciously, being emotionally abusive by making sure the individuals KNEW they weren't apart of the family by blood.
In one interview, I had asked the person a real specific question,"What makes you stay around someone, even family, who's abusive?". The answer was such simplicity, they had no family besides the abusive individual. To lose that person meant to lose any and all family they had.
My Humanitarian nature kicked in and I had to find out the types of abuses they had suffered that could lead them to such a point, i.e. I needed to know so I could see if I was able to help them.
Apparently, there was minor sexual abuse when they were young and then it turned into emotional and verbal abuse.
I had to inquire about how it all affects their Life today, being that they're an Adult who did survive the abuses. Once more, the answers didn't surprise me. They have had many bad relationships. Often picking partners who were abusive. Even picking friends who would verbally and emotionally assault them. It was that normal for them.
After that interview, I had inquired about how 'normal' abuse really was for them. An overwhelming majority said that, though they wished they could change their situation, having some form of abuse in their Life was normal. One even joked that they were a glutton for pain, as to why they could tolerate being abused. When does it become "okay" to be abused!?
We cannot choose who our Mothers are nor our Fathers. We can't help if we're born into a good situation or a bad. We cannot settle for less than what we deserve and no one deserves to be broken down, made to feel like less than a man/woman should. You are flesh and blood, you are an immortal Soul, there is nothing about you that says you're less than Human. You should be loved. You should love. You should have love in your Life overall!
There is nothing worse than accepting that the darkness and despair is eternal. No matter how dark your days get, you gotta keep that faith that the sun will shine one more time.
If we don't have faith, what do we have?