Mad Science & Adoption Insanities

This is a poem type creation, I made, to express how I felt soon after realizing I wasn't destined to have a relationship with my biological family.


--the Overview--

Once in a while scientists make an amazing break through that
alters the course of Human history. Once in a while there are moments
that define entire generations. Moments that take on a Life of their
own. Amazing revelations, philosophies that lead to greatness.

For the rest of the time, its an abject failure. Physical
Worlds aren't exploding or imploding but Worlds are dying, ground to
dust and vanquished to oblivion. Gladly, or perhaps sadly, these
mistakes aren't remembered more. A generation that doesn't learn from
the Past has no Future. A good adage to remember.

My scientific studies have taken me to far off lands and
Worlds I dare not discuss. I've seen horrifying sights and experienced
edifying delights. Wonders to behold, mysteries still to unfold and so
much more still to come. Overall, I rate the experiment a 1 out of a
potential 10. An utter failure for the likes of which I never could have

--Final Analysis Subject A--

Soul searing depressions rocked the very foundations of my
being. Nothing I had foreseen could've led me to these Earth shaking
conclusions! I was completely, wait for it.... WRONG!!! Shake your head in
bewilderment like I have done so many times! How could I have not seen
such obvious truths!?

Ah, the gossamer veil blinds yet again! So obvious!
Everything always looks peachy & rosy with a sheen to make the God's
go blind. I had been afflicted by the same disease! At least I took my
medicine before things became too obscene. 

When did it all go so wrong? Was it really ever right? I
think it was right once but that was before "the Wrong Stuff" started
happening. When I still was an optimistic young lad, full of piss &
vinegar, ready to live Life. Only if you and I were closer way back when but
then again, you always had the chance to make peace & resolve the
issues that stand between us. Why should today be devoid of the same
issues as there were back then?! So you put me on this Earth, I learned
to walk on my own two feet.

--Final Analysis Subjects B thru Z--

Subject C, the only one that didn't outright fail! The only
one who, seemingly, isn't frail and broken like thin glass. Though
you're presence can be maddening, you do the most right because you're
actually trying. 

Subject B, the second greatest failure that there could be.
All you had to do was be anything but a deviant, addicted lout. Your
addictions grew worse & worse 'til there was no point in even
trying. You chose your own path by riding a high horse to vainglory on
the path of not even trying. Wholly uncouth, a barbarous liar that would
sell out their closest kin for absolutely nothing.

Subjects D-Z, Epic failures on levels rarely seen! No guts,
No glory; for you its also no smarts, no sanity, no logic, no common
sense, no sense of logical direction! The place of pittance allowed for
D-Z is higher than I'd like. They did nothing wrong other than be themselves.

Colossal mistakes, grave miscalculations that almost cost me
dear. I'm glad I learned nothing was there before I dug too deep of a
rut. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it wasn't for Ma Petite. She
made me see what was plain and painfully clear. My grand experiment had
failed, even with all my tender & loving care!

Chalk another failure up on the board... It still won't stop me from trying

--Final Words on the Grandest Experiment of them all--

I tried, I tried, oh I tried more than words I can speak!
Nothing I could do could save my experiments from failing, well, they
did walk into the brink by themselves...

Subject B will always disappoint. So full of hope &
promise. Such a failure, such an apocalyptic sight. The downfall was
swift, painful to even watch, a disaster of the highest order.

Subject C remains to be the only one left that's worth trying
to maintain. Through the sheer insanity of the perplexities of the
personality, I've learned to appreciate the World more. I've seen where
things go wrong when you keep looking at the World through a scientific

Though this Quest of mine still remains the
same, I just have to go about it in different ways. I did find this
experiment on a whim & a prayer. I can always find out the answers
if I so choose, I can be an avid researcher. I know the routes and
avenues I must take.

I put too much energy into hoping and thinking that this
could be something Life changing. Hoping I found the needle in the
haystack. It will always break my heart to know how easily I could've
succeeded, had I chose a better way to experiment
by not even trying

It doesn't define who I am but it damn sure helped shape me
into the person I turned out to be. I have only one regret, that I tried
and tried and refused to see the negative situations around me. The double
talking liars, the drunken stupidity, the drugs, maybe I was better running away from
the World & hiding.

Remember that your genetics mean nothing. You are your own
person; mind, body and soul. Just because you tried to "discover your
roots" and things didn't turn out, its not your fault, you did everything

We few who know how it feels to find the impossible, only to
see it wasn't worth all the struggles and all the fights. We few who
have seen the treasure chest at the end of the rainbow. We run up to it,
expecting riches & delight. What we find is a pot full of piss and
acrid insanities.

I'm done with that whole chapter of my Life. No more regrets, no more tears, no more fears. The truth is simple
and it set me free.

ty for letting me use "Mad Science & Odd Revelations"

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