I couldn't find my laundry key tonight and I had to ask my roommate, Marlena, to borrow hers again. She's very gracious about lending her keys to me, knowing all the while that there is a very real and threatening possibility that I will misplace her keys in the process. It's happened. She stared at me blankly, "Megan, are you for real?"
Guilty, I answered "Yes, this is real." She's like, "I know, but how come you haven't found yours yet?!" To which I answered, "I'm sorry, I don't keep them on my house/car key ring because I'm afraid I'll lose them." Which doesn't make sense and was a terrible answer, but I mean hers wasn't a great question, either. Like, obviously if I knew the answer to that I'd know where my laundry key is and we wouldn't be having this conversation... She gave me the key.
Anyway, the point of this story is that even though I try to laugh about my ADD, I constantly have to endure "those moments." The times when no amount of laughter or jokes can really make the situation better.
For my sister Lynnette's wedding two years ago I told her I'd do all of her centerpieces and floral arrangements. She lives in Minnesota and that's where the wedding was going to be. I got to working on them in advance and came up with a scheme to used potted calla lilies so they'd travel. I'd place the plant in a tall glass vase and fill the bottom with orange sand so you couldn't tell it was potted. Then I added cute little baby limes, clementines and baby eggplants. I did a couple variations of these with different plant greens and vases. 26 arrangements in total. They were beautiful. I packed everything up the week of her wedding and went up to MN. I only had a couple small details to finish, but I had plenty of time.
At the last minute I decided that since her wedding was movie themed they needed a big marquee. And I was going to make it. I got busy going to Home depot for boards and wood and paint and letters and big round light bulbs. I found everything I needed. I enlisted my dad to help. The project was trying and drilling holes for the bulbs was a bigger ordeal than I'd thought it would be. It took 2 full days, but it turned out well. It's currently hanging on the wall of their basement movie room. It's obnoxiously bright and I'm sure they never plug it in. It's obnoxiously bright and they'd probably blow a fuse if they did.
The day of her rehearsal dinner we were supposed to drop off the arrangements at the banquet hall. In all my marquee-ing I hadn't had time to arrange them and needed to run to the store to buy a couple more jars of orange sand. By the time I did a few things and got back it was time for our spa appointment. WTF! Where had the time gone?! Lynnette was visibly stressed. Her new in-laws, aunts and cousins were also not impressed with my lack of regard for her time frame. "Well," I said, "I'll have time after dinner to assemble them." My sister responded, "No, we won't have any time to bring them downtown after the rehearsal and we wont have time tomorrow before the wedding." To which I replied, "Well I'll just skip the salon appointment, I don't need my nails done." Annoyed and losing her patience she said, "No, Megan. It's already booked and paid for."
First of all, Minnesotans are the nicest people in the world. Second of all, her in-laws are even nicer than average Minessotans. The centerpiece project I had begun working on almost a year prior was taken out of my hands in the final moments, and it was all my fault. Her groom and his whole family ended up making them and doing a wonderful job. Though I'm sure they weren't thrilled about it, they were incredibly kind and helpful. Hashtag embarrassing. I did a wonderful job of stressing my little sister out on a day where I was planning to make her life easy and enjoyable.
They say ADD is a disorder of time management. I tend to be late a lot, mostly because my concept of how long something will take is completely distorted. I think it might be a disorder of spatiality, too, because I don't know anyone with ADD who is good at directions. But this makes sense because it's the organizational part of the brain that is affected in people with AD/HD.
"Everyone has ADD moments. How do you know you have AD/HD or not?" People ask me all the time. Well, I have more than ADD moment's. I have ADD days overflowing with ADD moments. It's those awkward times where I over-commit myself to things. Where people are depending on me to do something or I need to meet a deadline and I think I've got it covered but I F it up. Or people are waiting to pick me up and I'm running late and I can't find my keys... I can NEVER find my keys! It's a test of patience in other people. I couldn't be more grateful for the friends in family in my life that put up with me.
Thankfully, I just finished my laundry and my laundry key fell out of the dryer with my pants. My ADD coach/trainer, Dave Bauer, is insistent that good habits or "systems" make life with ADD much easier. He says you have to have a special place for your important possessions, like keys, and always keep them there. ALWAYS. Hang them on a hook or keep them in a dish, but make it a habit to walk into your house and place them there immediately. Make it a priority!
My ADD friend, John Grkovic (who doesn't believe in ADD), just made this ah-mee-ahzing short video and I'd like to share it with you. It's timely as it's all about the theatrics involved in him losing his keys... and his mind.
It's the perfect example of taking a shitty ADD moment and turning it into a hilariously notable moment. Great work, Grk!
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