I am so over this winter. I’M OVER IT!!! I know everyone can tend to get a bit o’ the winter blues after a few gray days in a row. The snow tends to lose its ethereal charm and just looks like giant obstacle to your day, staring you in the face and mocking you. I see you, Snow. Yeah, I see you. But I’m not about to like you, you soul-sucking nature monster!
ADD brains need stimulation and the effect of snow days is a really solid way to numb up any brain power you might be fighting for. Anyway, I could probably dedicate this entire blog to how over snow I am, but that would not be publishable for one thing, nor would it make me feel any better. So instead, I’m gonna make a list of the best and worst things I do to make myself feel better when the weather has turned on me… And so has my brain…
Coffee! Perhaps this is controversial. I haven’t been on any meds in years, but if you are, by all means-- crush ‘em up and snort ‘em double time! I’m just kidding. Be careful with whatever you’re on, but if it’s working for you, more power to ya. I take my caffeine fixes like a fiend. I know everyone at every starbucks near work, home, errands, and in between. Did you know that employees get like 6 free drinks a day? Seriously. They should just say “limitless drinks” because, honestly, who’s counting? Maybe we should get jobs there! Think about it… A bunch of ADD people cracked out on caffeine. Oh, the fun we could have!!! ‘Til we get fired.
Tanning. Okay, don’t do this. And try not to judge. I do it, but no one else should. I just love love LOVE smelling like burnt flesh. It reminds me of my pale childhood on the swim team with ADD, always forgetting to apply sunscreen. I also secretly enjoy the rush of doing something that probably could/will kill me. I bought this weird little keychain/tanning goggle thing, but I tell people it’s a cigarette lighter so they judge me less.
Eat healthy. Okay, I get wanting to stuff your face with mac and cheese and shit food when it’s crappy out, but this is NOT the time. You will feel more lethargic and it will kill any brain cells you’ve been trying to find and utilize. Eat dem beans and greens, gurl!
Talk to friends. Whether via chat or phone, you need your friends right now. And they need you. Maybe grab a margarita or two and make fun of your snobby friends from highschool. Something tropical should do the trick.
Vitamins. Eat chia seeds and take your E-mergency! I swear by this. I eat chia seeds regurlarly in probiotic greek yogurt, thanks to a good friend introducing me to them. They say diseases start in your gut, so a healthy gut is a healthy guy! (Or girl. You get me).
Day Dream about warm places and summer time. Don’t go overboard with the day dreaming, but take some time out for a little “happy place” meditation. I love thinking about lying on the beach or being up north on Lake Superior. Conjure up any visual where you’re feeling sun-rays being absorbed by your pale, dry skin. We’re in the homestretch, Friends!
F FB! Whatever you do, DO NOT open your facebook feed! DO NOT! It’s only filled with assholes posting pictures about the tropical vacation they’re on right now. Fuck those people. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!!! Immediate de-friendtion to every one of them.
Music. Get yourself some good tunez, betches. You gotta. Have yourself a little dance party. You need to move a little to get your blood pumping and your brain working. I like a little Amy Winehouse Pandora, plus it’s sexy. Or The Gossip Pandora station gets me going, too. There's always good exercise/yoga videos you can find online, too. This video contains the best of everything with a little touch of '80's softcore porn:
That woman is just as qualified to give yoga lessons as all of your 20-something-year-old yoga teaching friends are. Soon they'll all realize they're way more qualified at giving blow jobs.
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