Posts tagged "Weekly Horoscope"

Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)

Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)
The world’s best horoscope is here.  Enjoy. Aries (3/21-4/19) Prepare for a rousing conflict when your hotel doesn’t recognize that your ‘continent’ in your continental breakfast is Africa. Taurus (4/20-5/20) You’ve always hated Twitter.  But this week it will reach a boiling point when you’re incorrectly notified of the cancellation of Toddlers and Tiaras. Gemini (5/21-6/20)... Read more »

Your Weekly Horoscope (March 28-April 3)

Your Weekly Horoscope (March 28-April 3)
Aries (3/21-4/19) An ambitious streak will unfortunately hit you as soon as you reach the 90/94 split during rush hour leading to a 500 car pileup. Taurus (4/20-5/20) You never thought that Vanessa Williams’ ‘Save the Best for Last’ would be background music to a knife fight in Humboldt Park, but, alas. Gemini (5/21-6/21) Keeping your nose to the... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope (8/20-8/26)

Aries (March 21-April 19) You have marvelous ideas about how to change the way things function.  Removing the seats from your van to cruise high schools for 16 year olds is not one of them. Taurus (April 20-May 20)  You have a marvelous idea for home improvement.  Removing the 12 year old Cambodian boys is... Read more »
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Your Chicago Tough Horoscope (5/20-5/27)

Your Chicago Tough Horoscope (5/20-5/27)
Aries (3/20-4/20) Your energy will provide an artistic flair this week. Still, nobody wants to see your dance interpretation of Bobby Hull’s first 50 goal season. Taurus (4/20-5/21) If you lead by example, others will follow.  Soon, everybody will think it’s fine to eat Coco Pebbles in the lunch room at work. Shatner. Why not?... Read more »