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Posts tagged "Ryne Sandberg"

The 1989 Cubs and the Disease of Hope

The 1989 Cubs and the Disease of Hope
Somewhere in a Chicago area convenience store, a 30-something Cubs fan is thumbing through the pages of his baseball preview. The prospects for next year look bleak.  A cast of has-beens and could’ve-beens and probably-wont’s fill the roster page.  The projection shows 4th in the NL Central.  For all intents and purposes, it’s going to... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
March 8, 2012 at 2:02 am
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Ryne Sandberg Meets With Cubs; Realizes They've Gained 35 Pounds Since Senior Year

Ryne Sandberg Meets With Cubs; Realizes They've Gained 35 Pounds Since Senior Year
CHICAGO – It was supposed to be a reunion between two former lovers. What it turned out to be was an uncomfortable thirty minutes for two people once madly in love. Ryne Sandberg, the former Cubs second baseman and managerial candidate, met with the Chicago Cubs for a cup of coffee at the Golden Apple... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
August 4, 2011 at 1:16 am
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Ryne Sandberg Decides that the Homecoming Dance is a Stupid Dance Anyway, and if the Chicago Cubs Wanted to Ask Him They Would've Done Something Already

WOODFIELD MALL- Sitting amongst a gaggle of teenage girls, Schaumburg Saxons junior Ryne Sandberg was miffed.     After years of dedication to senior quarterback Jim Hendry, the QB stated that he’s not going to take his best friend ‘Ryno’ to the homecoming dance.  Instead, after his long and disappointing breakup with the airy Lynette Piniella, Hendry decided... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
August 22, 2010 at 10:31 pm
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What is in my Cubs breakup shoebox?

1987: My Little Pony Valentine’s Day card from Jim Sundberg   1988: Summertime PenPal letters from Vance Law   1989: Rosemont Horizon ticket stub from attending New Kids on the Block concert with Dwight Smith.   1990: Mix tape of various Sinead O’Connor songs pleading you to forgive Mike Harkey   1991: Alternating fake sticky tattoos... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
August 15, 2010 at 12:44 pm
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Women and Children First...And my 1987 Topps Cards (editorial)

Women and Children First...And my 1987 Topps Cards (editorial)
There are many helpless feelings we have in life:  the girl gets away, the car breaks down in a busy intersection, HR asks you to come meet them in a windowless office, your team has the lead and Michael Jordan has the ball with three seconds left, John Elway is driving on your defense with under a... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
July 25, 2010 at 12:54 am
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Breaking up with the Cubs

Breaking up with the Cubs
Dear Cubs, A lot has changed since we met.  It was 1987.  Wrigley Field didn’t have lights.  The only people who watched your games on the rooftop were construction workers making repairs to the aged buildings. Those were the days…it was so innocent. I was happy with you as a last place team.  You were... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
June 20, 2010 at 9:29 pm
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RON SANTO HOPING SANDBERG TRADE WORKS OUT

CHICAGO- Beloved Chicago Cubs announcer Ron Santo spent the majority of opening day answering questions from various media members in regards to the Cubs current season. Unfortunately, for the reporters on hand, Santo was stuck where he normally is; the past. “We gave up a sleek-fielding shortstop for an unproven kid.  That’s going to raise... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
April 12, 2010 at 11:10 pm
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