Posts tagged "Denver Broncos"

1965 Version of Dick Butkus Sees His Shadow; Pummels it to Pieces, Marking the Start of Bears Season

1965 Version of Dick Butkus Sees His Shadow; Pummels it to Pieces, Marking the Start of Bears Season
STONE PARK – Just a skip away from Chicago’s west side, the 1965 version of Dick Butkus arose this morning to mark the start of the Chicago Bears season. “We could hear the ground shake…and we’re in Roselle!” said excited fan Tony Spizziri. At approximately 5:30 a.m. Central Standard Time, Dick Butkus arose from his months-long slumber, crawled... Read more »

Tebow's Leaving to New York Prompts Massive War in Denvael

Tebow's Leaving to New York Prompts Massive War in Denvael
DENVER – It didn’t take long for the religious factions of Elwayites, Tebowites, and Manningites to scuffle for land that they claim is theirs. Last week, the Denver Broncos signed future Hall of Fame quarterback Peyton Manning.  Later in the week, the Broncos traded popular quarterback Tim Tebow to the New York Jets.  The changing... Read more »

Where Will Tim Tebow Land?

The Denver Broncos shocked the football world yesterday by signing Peyton Manning.  This leaves fan favorite Tim Tebow in the dust? Where will Tebow land?  Here’s some answers with the potential connection.
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Chicago Tough Picks of the Weekend: Divisional Playoff Payoff

Chicago Tough Picks of the Weekend: Divisional Playoff Payoff
In case you have been sleeping under a rock, the entire universe has been stunned by my baffling .500 record over 70+ games.  The fact that you could pick names out of a hat and match my record does not make me happy. But these weekend picks will.  Ever melt butter and pour it over... Read more »

Tom Brady Tebows After Getting Out of Shower; Thanks God for Awesome Lovelife

Tom Brady Tebows After Getting Out of Shower; Thanks God for Awesome Lovelife
BOSTON – After drying off his chiseled physique, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady fell to his knees and thanked God. “Lord, you have blessed me.  I got every girl I wanted in high school…all the ladies at Michigan.  I enjoyed many relationships without an official license for um…activity…and now I wound up with this supermodel…who is currently... Read more »

Top 10 Toughest Losses in Chicago Bears History

Top 10 Toughest Losses in Chicago Bears History
The Bears led 10-0 with only minutes remaining…and something felt wrong. The moment the Denver Broncos started moving the ball downfield for their first six points, I felt my chest get tight.  My hands started to get clammy.  Shortly, I was struggling for breath.  My face was getting pale.  I started getting dizzy…I knew it. ... Read more »
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National Writer Really Excited to Use Resurrection Metaphor for Denver Victory

National Writer Really Excited to Use Resurrection Metaphor for Denver Victory
DENVER – “Ooooh!  I”ve got an idea…and I’m not going to tell anyone!” The Oregonian NFL writer Jeff Pearlbloom squealed in excitement when the Broncos pulled off a miraculous 13-10 overtime victory over the Chicago Bears on Sunday.  It was Pearlbloom’s first time seeing a Broncos game as the main report for the The Oregonian... Read more »

Talk About Pastor's Affair Put on Hold To Uncomfortably Cheer On Tim Tebow's Game Winning Drive

Talk About Pastor's Affair Put on Hold To Uncomfortably Cheer On Tim Tebow's Game Winning Drive
FORT COLLINS – A Christian church in Fort Collins, Colorado has been going through a rough time of late.  Thankfully, for the attendees of Thursday’s ‘Broncos Game Night Watch and Thanksgiving Bazaar’, those rough times could be put on the backburner.  “Most of us are wondering what a 50 year old married man could be doing... Read more »

Tim Tebow Sexts Erotic Pictures of Promise Ring to Lifelong Girlfriend

DENVER- In a rare lapse of judgement, Denver Broncos quarterback and Christian advocate Tim Tebow sent texts of sexual nature to his lifelong girlfriend Erin Drewes. The ‘sexts’ featured inappropriate photos of Tebow’s promise ring, cross chain, and his favorite sultry bible passage (Phil 4:13). In a press release, Tebow apologized to his fans: I... Read more »
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