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Posts in category "Satire"

Rex Ryan Found Dead of Overdose at Famous Footwear

Rex Ryan Found Dead of Overdose at Famous Footwear
DOVER – Police discovered the body of New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan at a Famous Footwear in Dover, New Jersey late Monday. The Jets head master was seen small-talking with various women in the store. Ryan assisted them with purchases and helped them try on shoes. After four women let Ryan try on... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
August 2, 2011 at 11:47 pm
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Area man wondering why he was caring about soccer

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS- 48 year old Jim “Jimbo” Neely of Arlington Heights spent most of his Sunday mowing his lawn, tending his garden, and drinking a rock and rye in his garage. Like any blue-blooded American, Neely enjoys his time off.  So, when questioned why he spent most of yesterday watching soccer, Neely stammered in answering... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
June 27, 2010 at 10:07 pm
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This Day in Sports History, April 5th, 2010

1915- Jess Willard KOs Jack Johnson in a brutal 26 round match.  After the match, Johnson is so tired he only sleeps with two white women. 1925- Babe Ruth collapses outside a train station in Asheville, North Carolina.  Ruth collapsed when he thought he saw a single woman made only of hot dogs. In 1987, these... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
April 4, 2010 at 10:17 pm
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Headlines March 29th, 2010: Health care bill helping Cubs' pen?, Staring at the DePaul job, rich Duke fan celebrates

NEW HEALTH CARE BILL WILL NOT COVER CUBS’ BULLPEN Madame Speaker obviously doesn’t understand the health risks that will cripple Chicago. WASHINGTON – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated today that the new health care legislation will not cover the Chicago Cubs’ bullpen.  Hundreds of Cubs fans submitted paperwork to their local representatives for... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
March 28, 2010 at 9:45 pm
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Sports Figures Parallel Games: Scott from The Kardashians, Kendra, Ruby, Tyra, and Camila Alves' voice

Something I like to do is take members of pop culture and mix them in with Chicago/National sports figures.  Today’s contestants are Scott from “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, Kendra, Ruby, Tyra, and Camila Alves (if you don’t know her, you will soon.) SCOTT FROM KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS I love this man.  He... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
March 24, 2010 at 11:26 pm
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Chicago Tough's Weekend Viewing Guide (3/20-3/21)

BECAUSE YOUR MARRIAGE JUST DOESN’T MATTER Viewing guide for Saturday, March 20th, 2010 7am Miffy and Friends, WYCC.  “Little Bunny; Miffy’s Surprise.” Because this might be the last time you acknowledge your youngest daughter over the next 39 hours. 730 am High School Lights, Comcast Sports Net.  Nothing better than starting your day to Sarah... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
March 20, 2010 at 12:09 am
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ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE BOMB NCAA TOURNAMENT HEADQUARTERS AFTER NCAA TOURNAMENT SELECTION SNUB

INDIANAPOLIS- In an air assault and ground attack not seen since the D-day invasion of 1944, military forces converged on NCAA offices late Sunday. Though many in college basketball know that each team did not qualify for an at-large or automatic berth; the military wanted to send the message that they should not be taken... Read more »
By Captain Meatball,
March 15, 2010 at 2:17 pm
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