Posts in category "NHL"

Canucks Fans Despondent Over Playoff Losses; Even Lacking Energy to Break Local Store Windows

Canucks Fans Despondent Over Playoff Losses; Even Lacking Energy to Break Local Store Windows
VANCOUVER – After watching his beloved Vancouver Canucks get throttled by the San Jose Sharks 5-2 to go down three games to zero in the Western Conference Quarterfinals, Terrence Gilbert stood outside of a local Tim Horton’s with a brick in his hand…ready for launching. “I just got there and was, like, ‘I don’t even... Read more »

Gary Bettman Resumes Role as 'That Asshole on Your Block Who Won't Answer His Door on Halloween"

Gary Bettman Resumes Role as 'That Asshole on Your Block Who Won't Answer His Door on Halloween"
NEW YORK – Sitting in his posh complex in the lower east side of Manhattan, National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman celebrated the cancellation of the annual New Year’s Day Winter Classic celebration. Sipping from his scotch, his legs kicked up on his ottoman, the ‘commish’ belted out an edited version of his favorite song.... Read more »

JOEL QUENNEVILLE ABLE TO WATER MOUSTACHE AFTER HAWKS FINALLY WIN

ST. PAUL- Chicago Blackhawks head coach and mustachioed extraordinaire Joel Quenneville told his players last week that he wouldn’t water his well-coiffed moustache until the Blackhawks put together a solid sixty minutes. What he sacrificed for love. Wednesday night, the Blackhawks obliged.  Following a dominating 4-0 win against the Minnesota Wild, ‘Coach Q’ sped through... Read more »
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Chicago Tough's Weekend Viewing Guide (3/27-3/28)

Well, well, well.  Another weekend of yard work.  Get those seeds on the lawn!  Time to bust out some spring cleaning.  Don’t have plans?  Well, that’s why I created a meatball’s viewing guide.  Remember, we’re all part meatball.  We hate our inner meatball…and sometimes, we embrace our inner meatball. SATURDAY 8:00 am Shatner’s Raw Nerve... Read more »