Posts in category "horoscope"

Chicago Tough Horoscope (5/1-5/7)

Chicago Tough Horoscope (5/1-5/7)
The world’s best horoscope is here.  Enjoy. Aries (3/21-4/19) This week you’ll experience depression, angst, and fear…normal reactions that come with realizing that you’re out of beer. Taurus (4/20-5/20)  Firefighters will respond to a fire at Benson’s Beddings after you’re thoroughly convinced that the company’s insistence that ‘everything must go’ includes the building itself and the workers inside. Gemini... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)

Chicago Tough Horoscope (1/8-1/14)
The world’s best horoscope is here.  Enjoy. Aries (3/21-4/19) Prepare for a rousing conflict when your hotel doesn’t recognize that your ‘continent’ in your continental breakfast is Africa. Taurus (4/20-5/20) You’ve always hated Twitter.  But this week it will reach a boiling point when you’re incorrectly notified of the cancellation of Toddlers and Tiaras. Gemini (5/21-6/20)... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope Week of January 15th

Chicago Tough Horoscope Week of January 15th
Want to get next week off to a good start?  We have the earliest release of next week’s horoscope.  Why?  Well..see…we already know what’s going to happen…so why wait? Aries (3/21-4/19) This is the week you realize that grabbing all of the pennies in the mall fountain does not grant you all of the wishes…it... Read more »
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Chicago Tough Horoscope November 11th to November 17th

Chicago Tough Horoscope November 11th to November 17th
Aries March 21-April 19 Revenge will be yours this week when it’s the dog’s homework that winds up being eaten. Taurus April 20-May 20 You find out this week that the local furniture store’s claim that ‘everything must go’ does not mean the hot cashier from aisle 12. Gemini May 21-June 21 Years of scholarly... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope (6/8)

Chicago Tough Horoscope (6/8)
Aries (3/21-4/19) You’ll realize that creating your own real-life ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ can backfire since, apparently, police arrest individuals who don’t report a death. Taurus (4/20-5/20) It will not be your fault that you were given the brown acid…but it will be your fault when you jump off the building. Gemini (5/21-6/21) Sharing with those... Read more »

Your Chicago Tough Horoscope (4/24-4/30)

Your Chicago Tough Horoscope (4/24-4/30)
Aries (3/21-4/19) Take time in the lives of the children around you…but after watching ‘The Royal Wedding’ shows. Taurus (4/20-5/20) Be true to yourself.  And if that means finishing a box of Golden Grahams in one sitting, then, so be it! Gemini (5/21-6/21) Know your limits.  That means having your Klingon Bird of Prey cruiser... Read more »
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Chicago Tough Horoscope January 29th

Chicago Tough Horoscope January 29th
Aries (March 21-April 19) Take a vacation, even if only for a few hours. Your boss won’t smell the alcohol on your breath after lunch anyway. Taurus (April 20-May 20) State your own position clearly and logically. Then open fire. Gemini (May 21-June 21)  Everything seems to be flowing with great ease. Blood will do... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope (10/6-10/12)

Aries (March 21-April 19) It’s dangerous to strive for more power.  You will realize this when your attempt to overthrow your Girl Scout troop leader backfires. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Dust off your numerous talents and put them to use now. You’ve Rasputin’s horoscope. Creepy. Funny. And slightly creepy. finally been requested to perform the... Read more »

Chicago Tough Horoscope

Our podcast should be showing on itunes, soon.  Patience! Aries (March 21–April 19) You feel like angels are standing by your shoulder, guiding your every decision and action. However, it’s quite bulky carrying Bobby Grich and Doug DeCinces around all day. Taurus (April 20–May 20)  This week, support your partner from behind the scenes.  But feel free... Read more »
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Chicago Tough Horoscope (9/9-9/15)

Aries (March 21-April 19)  Your friends will go through a tragic loss.  However, that’s what you get for robbing a liquor store. Taurus (April 20–May 20) This week, use independent activities that emphasize personal strengths.  Too bad your only strength is beating the 1986 version of Zelda. Gemini (May 21–June 21)  The variety of possibilities are endless.  No. ... Read more »
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    Chicago Tough is a site that began independently in 2008. Shortly thereafter, we joined the ChicagoNow network in 2009. Chicago Tough currently gives 5 on 5 contributions in the RedEye every Tuesday. Podcasts are available on itunes.

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