Canucks Fans Despondent Over Playoff Losses; Even Lacking Energy to Break Local Store Windows

Canucks Fans Despondent Over Playoff Losses; Even Lacking Energy to Break Local Store Windows

VANCOUVER - After watching his beloved Vancouver Canucks get throttled by the San Jose Sharks 5-2 to go down three games to zero in the Western Conference Quarterfinals, Terrence Gilbert stood outside of a local Tim Horton's with a brick in his hand...ready for launching.

"I just got there and was, like, 'I don't even care anymore.'  They're so bad, I couldn't even get my arm in a windup.  I just dropped the brick and walked away.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  I have a car filled with rocks, bricks...I've got bags to store stuff after the looting...I think I'm just gonna go to the Goodwill and sell my bags.  It's not worth it anymore."

Instead of lighting a local gas station on fire, John O'Hara decided to burn his Henrik Sedin jersey.

"I figure if Henrik's been invisible this series, then I'll just make myself invisible.  I have all of this ammunition and stolen riot gear...and for what?"  O'Hara kicked some dirt in front of him; still reeling from the day's events.  "You wait your whole life to have a riot like '94 or '11.  I got myself all ready for another Cup flop...and we can't even get past the first round.  Guess I'll just have to save this for the day Vigneault gets fired."

Art Bogan of Victoria, a man who was arrested at both the '94 and '11 riots, is under a heavy eye from local authorities.  When Bogan approached a police officer outside a local sports bar, he handed over all of his explosives, rocks, and bricks.

"He just started crying," said local officer Gerry Morton.  "Something about 'all these lost years', and how he 'always really respected us', and that he felt bad that we couldn't be on the receiving end of his molotov cocktails.  Then he hugs me, rips off his Howard Snepsts jersey, and starts walking away.  Completely shirtless.  Just walking.  He was mumbling something about 'can't believe Lafayette hit the post.' I haven't seen anything like it."

The Canucks will try to stave off elimination on Tuesday night.


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