MELROSE PARK - Tony Spizziro of Melrose Park found himself in yet another fight with his wife on Sunday morning.
The couple has gone through a tumultuous three year marriage, but the differences hit a new low yesterday morning. Authorities were sent to the residence after neighbors heard loud laughter and crashing sounds at the home. Word is his wife found out that Mr. Spizziro had been cheating on her the previous evening.
How she found it, is where it gets interesting...
"He, uh, apparently tried telling her that, uh," reported Melrose Park police chief Pete Pasquelli, "that he, uh, was watching...sorry, I just...this is...I...I'm trying not to laugh...watching the World Baseball Classic with his friends..."
Pasquelli and his fellow officers at the press conference began busting out in laughter.
The pathetic sham of a baseball tournament has little to no viewership, and the thought of anybody watching it with friends enraged and amused Mrs. Tonya Spizziro.
"All we could hear was about 60 seconds of uproar; total laughter. It was like this maniacal laugh," said neighbor Fred Leo. "Then we heard, 'what the f--- were you watching?! Chinese Taipei versus Australia?!' Then, the same laughter...then we just heard pots and pans being thrown all over the place."
"I've heard a lot of excuses in domestic disputes," stated Pasquelli. "But, obviously, this takes the cake. I mean, say you went out to watch a boxing match on pay-per-view, maybe your buddies were playing cards, shoot, if you told her you were watching the flipping dog show...but the World Baseball Classic?"
Tonya Spizziro was fined for public disturbance. In the police report, it was cited that Tonya threw one of the pans so hard that she may have made the roster for Team Italy.
Tonya Spizziro has been fined $1,000. Tony is still missing.