GREEN BAY - On a blustery and snowy day in Green Bay, the Detroit Lions blew an early 14-0 lead and succumbed to the Packers 27-20.
Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford made the biggest blunder of the game when he fumbled a ball that led to a Green Bay score. For the third straight week, the Lions blew a lead of 10 points or more. Once a heartwarming story, the Lions are now 4-9.
However, even these bleak times for the Lions couldn't hold a candle to what followed in the post-game.
"Guys, I uh...I don't know how to say this...but my mom forgot to bring the juice boxes."
Matthew Stafford's voice echoed through the shocked visitor's locker room at Lambeau Field.
"So, uh...yeah, there's no juice boxes...and, yeah, no orange slices...and those mint Oreos that my mom dips in chocolate...not here."
After a couple seconds, a frustrated Ndamukong Suh flipped over the trainer's table and lunged for Stafford's throat.
"It was all I was looking forward to! You ruined everything!"
Frustration boiled over into a full-fledged riot that saw Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson running down the Lambeau corridors shouting for the head of Stafford's mother.
"When we find you, you will pay! How dare you do this! Those hand-dipped mint Oreos are what we live for! It's the only way I can deal with the losing," pleaded Johnson. His voice trailed off. "It's the only way I can deal with the losing."
While Johnson bawled, and Suh jumped on Stafford, Lions veteran kicker Jason Hanson reached inside his athletic bag and took a large sip of what looked like a Capri Sun.
Hanson tried to lean into his locker so nobody would see his stash of boxes and orange slices...which worked until his actions caught the eyes of Mikel Leshoure.
"Hanson? Hanson! Hanson! Everybody! Hanson has Capri Suns! Hanson has Capri Suns!"
The diminutive kicker was hung upside down from his locker while teammates tried to take the remains of Hanson's food.
Bloodied, beaten, and divided by the post-game platter, the 4-9 Lions are in some serious trouble. But not as much trouble as Matt Stafford's mom.
"All those days driving me to and from practice? It means nothing. Nothing. We can't win, we can't hold leads, we can't even eat right."
The Lions haven't won in Green Bay since 1991. They play at Arizona next week.