"It's Only Four Days Until the Beef O' Brady's Bowl!" Says Tampa Area Man; Police Investigate

"It's Only Four Days Until the Beef O' Brady's Bowl!" Says Tampa Area Man; Police Investigate

TAMPA - Police from the City of Tampa are investigating a conversation overheard at an area Dunkin' Donuts last evening that has left residents miffed.

"I was just enjoying my normal chocolate frosted and medium coffee when I hear the ruffling of papers and some jumbled voice," said DD patron Ralph Cummings. "I looked up and I didn't see anything, I turned around again, and I saw him say it.  I saw it with my own two eyes.  He leaps up and says, 'Oh my God!  It's only four days until the Beef 'o' Brady's Bowl!'".

Employees of the donut shop quickly called police to inform them that a rambling, mentally ill individual was running amok in the store.  However, shortly after Cummings notified workers of the incident, the man had disappeared.

"We're all a little shaken," said DD employee Gary Evans.  "You think you live in a safe neighborhood, and then you wait just two seconds and somebody's going off about the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl.  This is a man who has influence.  Is he talking to kids about his excitement?  Is he trying to convince others that it's okay to live this type of lifestyle where watching such a game warrants excitement?  All I know is that it's a scary day in America."

The man authorities are looking for is 6'0", heavy set, and has a thinly shaved beard.  Other calls made to police referenced the man talking about how people better 'watch out for that high powered Ball State offense' and if they saw 'UCF play Ohio State tough for a bit?'

"This is obviously a man with mental health issues," stated Tampa police chief Herman Davis.  "The people that went to Central Florida don't even like Central Florida.  The Ball State fans were even asking us if we could blackout the game so nobody could see it.  Nobody wants to watch this bowl game.  Except for this man.  This crazy, crazy man.  God help us."

Many bar owners around the area informed police after receiving sketches of the individual that he was a regular bar patron during bowl season...the crappy bowl season, that is.

"This is the guy we had to kick out last year during the Little Caesars Bowl," said Moran's Pub owner Jerry Moran.  "He kept yelling, 'Purdue and Western Michigan! It doesn't get any better than this!' and 'throw out the records, folks, this is football!'  It was like Jon Gruden married Dick Vitale and had a child that only watched crappy bowl games."

As of press, no arrests have been made.

Central Florida plays Ball State in the Beef 'o' Brady's Bowl on Friday night.


Leave a comment