Final Mayan Carving Shows Man in Suit Offering Edwin Jackson 4 Years for $52 Million

Final Mayan Carving Shows Man in Suit Offering Edwin Jackson 4 Years for $52 Million

TRES ZAPOTES - If all of the madness surrounding the world's potential end wasn't enough, scientists have unearthed even more frightening material to support an apocalypse.

A stone from a traditional Mesoamerican Long Count calendar was found just outside the research site at Tres Zapotes, Mexico.  Pictures show the additional drawing to be that of a man wearing an American baseball cap shaking hands with a man in a suit.  The Mayan lettering on the stone showed a Mayan inscription '52' and '4'. 

Researchers thought nothing of it until news came that the Chicago Cubs signed veteran starting pitcher Edwin Jackson for $52 million over 4 years.

"My heart stopped," said Cornell scientist Brian Kolff.  "We had this stone here for years and couldn't determine what it was...but when you have an owner focusing on developing his team's future, and then he inexplicably reels in a man for a large four year deal...you wonder is something else is at work!"

Followers of the Mayan calendar have noted that the end of the world should be scheduled for Friday, December 21st.  Many scientists have debunked this theory, but the release of the sketching and the oddity of the signing have people questioning their beliefs.

"For the longest time I just thought it was two men making a deal on a car sale," said Columbia researcher Gail Gibbons.  "Now, I look at Jackson's stats, I look at the money, I look at the picture, and then I think about the Cubs.  You know, just thinking about them...this isn't good."

So, what makes this whole thing worse?

"It's the very last artifact we found on the site," said head archeologist Marty Kerner.  "It's the very last thing the Mayans drew.  We can't find anything more recent.  I know the guy was an All-Star once, but, seriously?!  Jeez!"

No further information has been released on the end of the world.  Chicago Tough will release information as soon as it is received.

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