CAPE MAY- "Hello?....Hello?...Is anybody here?"
With his voice echoing through the halls of Mayfield Manor, embattled Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid took a moment to take in the scenery of his Cape May suite.
"Wow, look at this. Jeez, you can see the ocean! Man...sure seems windy out there."
Reid was humbled by a substantial gift from a group of Philadelphia Eagles fans this past Friday. The group of fans known as 'Reid Between the Lines' set aside thousands of dollars for a getaway vacation at New Jersey's Cape May.
"They've been on me pretty hard, this year. But after this...you have to hand it to 'em...these are the best fans of football...I mean, look at this place! You know what's even better? There's nobody here! I mean, nobody in town, nobody in the mansion, nobody by our suite...actually, it's kind of weird. There were all of those people driving the other way on the highway...I'm thinking, 'maybe it's a religious town; nothing opens on a Sunday.' Maybe not. I'm not sure. I just know that whoever runs the bar left everything just sitting there! Gonna have me a drink with Tammy here and start to unwind."
Unfortunately for Reid, Eagles fans had the plump coach sitting before the teeth of an unrelenting storm. Hurricane Sandy was merely moments from arrival.
"We don't wish harm on anyone," said Reid Between the Lines spokesman James Fornullo. "We do wish, however, that he is washed into the ocean and never seen from again. We figure that would be the least painful way to go. At least it's less painful than watching Michael Vick try to play quarterback. Or trying to watch us not lead the league in fumbles. Did you know we have two rushing touchdowns this year? I'm seriously considering calling Rich Kotite. Yes. I said 'Kotite'....okay, maybe not Kotite...but you get the picture."
"I'm not gonna think about what this was about, or what they were trying to say...I'm just going to enjoy this," said Reid. "They even left me this really nice note saying that 'I should relax and swim in the ocean for a bit.' I was certainly wrong about these folks!"
Reid's Eagles are a disappointing 3-4 on the season. However, Reid is not going to let the season (or apparently the weather) bother him this week.
"I needed this. I really needed this time. Today's loss was horrible....hmmm...I feel like somebody just sprayed on my forehead...was that drop of rain? Why is the roof shaking?"
At time of press, no other communication was received from Reid.