In a move that has not been seen since the fall of 1988, the Chicago Cubs traded former Cowboys running back Herschel Walker to the Minnesota Vikings for seven first round draft picks.
The move comes just weeks after the Cubs signed Walker to a minor-league contract. Folks around baseball had been stunned by the signing. However, just six days after the signing, the Cubs' intentions became clear once they contacted the Minnesota Vikings.
"You don't get a lot of opportunities to make a massive mistake twice," stated Viking general manager Rick Spielman. "We've thrown away a lot of draft picks in the past...but to have the opportunity to throw away so many at once...that's big time."
The Vikings aren't an MLB team, obviously, so they're picks will be treated as 'supplemental' for each round. After the Cubs' #6 pick in the first round, the Cubs will have picks #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, and #36.
"We're excited," said Cubs general manager Jed Hoyer. "Herschel is a great talent, but we figured he can waste his talents up in Minnesota for the next five years. Kind of like what he did last time. He can wear that visor for no reason inside a domed stadium and try to look cool...and then not look cool. Plus, they've still got Wade Wilson and Anthony Carter up there, sooooooo...I mean, hold on. I meant Adrian Peterson. God, the styles, how people talk...I feel like it's almost 1988 again."
The trade has brought up some questions amongst current Vikings...mostly from the previously mentioned Peterson.
"I'm excited. I've actually got his 1989 Starting Lineup figure I can finally get signed. Plus, we can continue on our great Vikings tradition of pushing back success 7-10 years. I haven't completely been there, yet...but now that this has happened...I feel like I'm a true Viking, finally."
Walker has been confused by all of the movement.
"I thought they (Cubs) were being nice to me. I spent two weeks at Sluggers for nothin? Where's my refund? If I knew I wasn't going to be traded for baseball I would've just spent my money playing arcade games and buying cheese fries at Sluggers instead of batting practice. Which reminds me, Sluggers has a great combination of food, folks, and fun. Sluggers...located at 3540 N. Clark in Chicago....seriously, I need some cash for that, I'm not leaving without getting cash for that promo."
Walker is still wondering how he'll live up to the demands of the trade, especially considering the fact that Adrian Peterson may not be ready to go by the opening game.
"Peterson might not be back in time. That means I'll have to go into came overhyped and have people question if Rick Fenney or Terry Allen should get more carries...oh...sorry...wait...that was last time. I'm getting confused."
Theo Epstein and the rest of the Cubs organization are ecstatic about the move.
"You rarely get to find an organization that's historically as stupid as the Chicago Cubs...we needed to find somebody who could stoop down to our level, and, well, we found the Minnesota Vikings. Why I never thought of dealing with the Vikings first is beyond me. They seem very willing to just give stuff away. Anyways, it's a big day for the Cubs organization."
The Major League Baseball draft will take place Monday night. Jimmy Johnson could not be reached for comment.