Area Hipster Totally Knew White Sox Would be in First Place Before You Did

Area Hipster Totally Knew White Sox Would be in First Place Before You Did

WICKER PARK - Tim Denninger of Wicker Park knew it all along.

"This might be stunning to you, but...honestly, I knew the White Sox were going to be in first place.  I called it late last year when a friend of mine heard some guys talking at this small club about this new 'White Sox' thing.  I was handed this, check that...VHS...actually, it was film.  It was original film of the White Sox taking batting practice in late September.  My friend and I came to the conclusion that this team was going to be in first place in June 2012.  Adam Dunn and Alex Rios had to come up to the mean, Konerko still had one more good year in his body...we actually started celebrating the great start last December.  We stopped celebrating in March.  Now?  We've moved on.  So, yeah, enjoy this...I guess.  We're done."

While sitting on his bar stool at a local bar that you've never heard of, Denninger cited the White Sox success story along with his other discoveries.

"This reminds me of when I was listening to Arcade Fire back in '04.  You four years before they got big.  I had this bootleg of a bootleg from a garage session that they did.  Sorry, check that.  It was an underground garage.  You actually had to go into a garage, walk downstairs, and go through another garage.  Inside was Arcade Fire.  Only back then it was one member who played three instruments at once.  Their first session, which I have on cassette, is 100% oboe.  Good luck finding that."

Drinking his PBR, Denninger stated that he is already celebrating other events...but isn't releasing his information.

"What I'm celebrating now can only be appreciated by the real fans of this team.  All I can say is that you'll know about their successes in October, and we'll be way past that...probably focusing on the winner of the Super Bowl in five years."

Denninger states that he can be reached for future predictions on 'what's cool', but he'll only respond to messages sent in morse code...or as Denninger calls it, 'the communication of the future'.


Leave a comment