John Scott Takes Needless Roughing Penalty in RBC Parking Lot 24 Hours Before Puck Drop

John Scott Takes Needless Roughing Penalty in RBC Parking Lot 24 Hours Before Puck Drop

RALEIGH- It didn't take long.

Moments after arriving in Raleigh for their March 1st tilt against the Carolina Hurricanes, new Rangers defenseman John Scott punched Hurricane fan favorite Eric Staal in the face.  The assault took place in the RBC Center parking lot, where NHL officials would convene to discuss the penalty.

"We could give a suspension, but that won't benefit the 'Canes," stated NHL enforcer Brendan Shanahan  Given his lengthy history of penalties more than 150 feet from the play, this isn't a surprise.  So, why suspend him?  We'll be giving a 2 minute roughing penalty for tomorrow night's game.  Scott will start in the box, and it will be a 5 on 4.  Truth is, he would've committed a stupid penalty in the first anyway...actually...we're still giving him an opportunity to get another penalty in the final 18, yeah...guess that'll be two power plays for Carolina.  No biggie."

The Rangers were going to take the ice at RBC Center for a practice skate prior to their March 1st game against Carolina.  While the two teams passed each other in the parking lot, Scott eyed Staal looking for a fight.

"He had this look," said the new Rangers enforcer.  "He was wearing this suit that just screamed 'kick my a--'.  He had a man bag.  A flippin' man bag.  And he was drinkin' Perrier.  Who drinks Perrier?  What is it 1988?  So, I knocked it out of his hands and he was like, 'what?' and I'm like, 'you wanna go?' and he's like, 'what do you want, man what's your problem?' and I was like, 'dude, what's your problem,' and he was like, 'dude, I was just standing here and you come over and knock out my water,' and I'm like 'dude, that's not water, it's Perrier...which where I come from says you need to get your a-- kicked.'  And he's like, 'Oh, yeah, where you from?  I come from an area of Canada where guys like you get crushed'  And I'm like...'Wait, what? Guys like me?  What are you talking about?'  and he's like, 'You think you're a tough guy, don't you...'  At that point, I was just I clocked him in the face.  What are you gonna do?"

Scott seemed baffled by the penalty.

"I'm usually doing this 150 feet from the play while my team has just moved into the offensive zone...or I'm getting sucked into a silly confrontation while my team is trying to mount a comeback...but this?  This was just stupid.  Wait...what am I talking about, I have a tradition to uphold...he was looking at me the wrong way."

Future enforcement is still being reviewed by the NHL.

(The previous post is not true...I shouldn't have to say that...but I'm forced to due to legal reasons...this world sucks.)

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