CHICAGO - The Burson family left the United Center in a dreary mood.
Their favorite team, the Detroit Red Wings, had just lost to the Chiago Blackhawks 2-1. A five hour family trip from Baldwin, Michigan to Chicago was fun for the group of four, but the loss put a hamper on the evening.
However, the loss would take a back seat to their pain when it was discovered that the family had left behind a pack of Newports, some scratch-offs, and some recently purchased WWE shirts.
"We traveled from Baldwin and...we were just so distraught over the loss...we must've just forgotten them by mistake," stated a beleaguered Tony Burson. "I can deal with leaving behind stuff, but...I need my Newport shorts. Plus, you don't know how much money I can get from that game...I had, uh...what was it? Oh, yeah, this new scratch-off game called 'For Games of Wine and Roses'. You gotta scratch-off different drinks...its fun. I left like, oh, I don't know...10 of those. I got $100 off that once. You know how many SummerSlam DVD's I can get for that price? I've got all the SummerSlams on DVD...except '92-'94. British Bulldog. Wembley Stadium...don't have it. That tears my heart out. Man, that reminds me...I left my John Cena shirt there...killin' me. Oh, yeah...sorry, got off track. If I win...I'll...ooh! Plus, I need a new satellite for my trailer. And some new speakers...blaring some Kid Rock while the kiddies are at school...gotta get my drink on."
The Burson family was one of many families from Michigan that left various menthol cigarettes, scratch-off game cards, WWE t-shirts, random colored shirts that just said 'America' on them, eight different NASCAR shirts, four of which were Dale Earnhardt's, three dip cups, and four tickets to the Lake County (MI) State Fair.
"This usually happens after the Red Wings come to town," stated United Center head janitor Melvin Johnson. "Somebody's usually leaving behind a Carhartt jacket filled with cigarettes and scratch-offs...and usually some kind of key chain featuring various dirty sayings and a pair of fake nuts...same deal."
As for the Burson family's missing belongings, Tony feels that the lost scratch-offs hurt the most.
"You know, I was looking for something nice for my truck. Get some of those big tires, do a little off-roading in the spring time. Get one of those Dale, Jr. stickers, maybe one of those Calvin urinating stickers...heh, I love those. Maybe get him going on a picture of Jeff Gordon...that would rule. Get that monthly meal deal at the Golden Corral I've been looking at getting. Plus, you can't go wrong with getting more guns. I love guns. Yeah...if I ever get that $1,000 deal, I'm gonna get the monthly meal deal...you can't go wrong with food."
United Center officials stated that visiting Red Wings fans can always pick up their missing items at the lost and found located on the first floor.
"We hold these items for six months," stated UC spokesperson Megan Ward. "If Wings fans want to come back, they can get them. Personally, we'll burn them after six months. We keep all material lost from Wings games separate from other items...nobody knows where those items have been. We usually burn it all in June. It's pretty nasty."
Red Wings fans can claim their items any time after 12 p.m. Monday through Friday on the 1st floor.
