In case you have been sleeping under a rock, the entire universe has been stunned by my baffling .500 record over 70+ games. The fact that you could pick names out of a hat and match my record does not make me happy.
But these weekend picks will. Ever melt butter and pour it over Cheerios? Put some salt on that magic...trust me...it's fantastic. Why am I giving you this information, I'm not sure.
New Orleans at San Francisco (+3)
I've had New Orleans all week...that was until I hada dream of Alex Smith doing some sort of dance...I'm not sure what that means. Maybe I'm attracted to Alex Smith? Maybe I subliminally believe in the Niners defense? Maybe I think this is the game Drew Brees implodes? Or maybe my years of Niners hatred have finally been reversed? I have no clue. Nor do I have statistics to back up this decision. San Francisco 20, New Orleans 17
Denver at New England (-13 1/2)
I should have learned that one of the descendants of Jesus Christ isn't somebody to pick against. However, I pretty much picked against God all through college...and that turned out pretty well...well...until about 2003. Wait, why am I picking New England? Oh, yeah...Tim Tebow sucks. However, expect the Fighting Tebows to keep it close until he implodes in the fourth...no walking on water in Foxboro. New England 38, Denver 20
Houston at Baltimore (-7 1/2)
See how they do that? Eh...Eh...Eh...a little wink, wink, nudge, nudge...Eh! They add that 1/2 point to the spread just to get you thinkin'! Former Libertyville stalwart Kevin Walter will not have enough juice to thwart the punishing defense of the Ravens. This Houston train comes to an end like so many Houston teams before them (see 1979 AFC Title game, OT loss in '89 to Pittsburgh, Comeback in Buffalo, '93 loss at home to KC...was that enough?). Baltimore 49, Houston 7 (why not?)
N.Y. Giants (+7 1/2) at Green Bay
Yep. I'm one of those morons that is climbing on that Giants train. Expect this pass rush to keep Rodgers stifled in the cold weather. HOWEVER, I've got the Packers winning...AND I BEAT THE KICKOFF DEADLINE! Green Bay 23, N.Y. Giants 20