'Twas the night before a Chicago Tough Christmas, when all through the house
No food was remaining, all eaten by Jerry Krause!
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Matt Forte would return next year healthy; and hopefully a Bear.
The children of Chicago; all snug in their beds
Have visions of a Bulls championship dancing in their heads!
And Theo in his office, and me on bended knee,
Praying for Fielder in Cubbie blue, just for a good fan like me!
When out on Soldier Field there arouse such a clutter,
Workers from the Park District cursing under a mutter
Away to the field I took off with a dash
Ran through the pillars with my Ditka mustache
The moon shined on the dirt down below
The grass was gone, the field covered in slush and snow
When what came to my eyes did appear?!
Roger Bossard, the Sodfather, to everybody's cheers!
By the Cell I could hear the crack of the stick,
It was a Sox fan calling Kenny Williams a 'pr---'.
More rapid came curses from Beverly residents
Telling Kenny they'd like to be champs, not just contestants
When soon from up in the sky
Derrick Rose and his team flew right on by!
With the hopes of a city for a leaguewide crush
Derrick drove, got fouled, and made the shot with a flush!
"Now, Noah! Now, Ohmer! Now, Hamilton and Boozer!"
"Turn these Heat, Knicks and Lakers into losers!"
When then on the United Center roof,
Sat 'Q' with his mustache, smiling and aloof.
"Oh, it's just another day for me,
The best team in hockey and the great Ray Emery!"
While the Bulls and Hawks met on the top
The Bears, Cubs and Sox sat as a flop
"We're all down here so cold and dreary
Cutler is gone and we're even thinking of Enderle!"
"We went through the off-season looking for shoppin'
And all we brought home was a manager named Robin!"
"We got a big hire to run our team and find scouts,
But without a free agent, we get nothing back but hollers and shouts!"
Then out of the sky came a blogger so happy
That some wondered if he loved seeing teams so crappy
"Don't worry your teams, the bad ones or the best...
It's your laughable ways that give you such zest,
Just be yourselves and you'll write things for me
My articles will be copies of your playing so poorly!
But just to let you know as I fly out of sight,
We love you, and pray...for many more titles...and celebratory nights!"
Tags: best team in hockey, Chicago Bears, Chicago Bulls, chicago christmas, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Joel Quenneville, Mike Ditka, NFL, NHL, ray emery, robin ventura, soldier field, theo epstein