5 Reasons Why People Love the Packers, and Why You Shouldn't (Editorial)

5 Reasons Why People Love the Packers, and Why You Shouldn't (Editorial)
Here at Chicago Tough, we mainly run satirical sports articles...however, we're taking a break for an important public service announcement.  Enjoy.

I keep hearing it in bars, restaurants, on the street, etc.  I keep hearing about how 'it's tough to hate the Packers...they just do things the right way.'  It's an old ploy to steal the ire out of any Bears fans head. 

For us at Chicago Tough, we can definitely respect what the Green Bay Packers do on the field from a football perspective, but it doesn't mean that we have to like the Packers.  As a matter of fact, we have 5 simple reasons you don't have to like the Packers based off of five common points made about the greatness of Packerdom.  This is a very important list.  What you need to do is cut it out, post it on your cubicle wall, tape it on your car's console, put it next to the ten commandments in your living room...this will serve you well for years.

5.  You have to like the Packers, their fans are so nice.  Just a small town team!

You know who was really nice?  Jim Jones.  Lots of people loved him.  You know where they are?  Dead.  Truth is, Packers fans come off as extremely nice people.  That's when the Wisconsinite hospitality goes awry, and their dark souls of hate come through.  Spend more than 10 minutes with them and they start trying to defend Charles Martin's hit on Jim McMahon.  Trust me...the darkness lurks.  You get pulled in by that northern- 'Oh, hey, donchaknow!' crap...before you know it you're drinking Pabst with a guy telling you a story about how his best friend in grade school's dad used to play golf with Boyd Dowler...it's a steady downhill slope before you start playing curling and ice fishing.  Once reeled in, you may not return!

And the small-market thing?  Guess I better hop on the Sacramento Kings bandwagon...or the Oklahoma City Thunder...god, where are the Hartford Whalers when you need them? I'll never understand that.

4.  They let their fans own the team!

This is true; the Green Bay Packers have fans as stockholders.  However, those fans are morons for buying stock that is essentially worth three cents for $250 a pop.  Yes.  That's what they do.  So they can own a piece of paper saying, 'owner of Green Bay Packers'.  To be honest, what the hell else are you gonna do with that extra $250 in Wisconsin?  Other than buying 14 cubes of Miller Lite?  Not sure.

3.  You have to love a team with that type of tradition!

Um...no?  That would be like saying 'you have to respect Bears tradition'.  Respecting tradition?  There are plenty of things with both franchises that were deplorable.  Both teams have been around long (Bears since 1920, Packers since 1921), but both have their shares of misfortune.  Am I supposed to respect Paul Hornung as a gambler and womanizer?  Brett Favre as a drug addict?  Mark Chmura as a teenage woman stealer?  No.  Should you respect George Halas for single-handedly delaying the integration of blacks into the NFL?  No.  The Bears have won 9 championships and the Packers have won 13. The Cardinals have been around since the start of the league, too?  Am I supposed to like them too because of their tradition?  The Bears have the most Hall of Fame players...am I supposed to be ga-ga for that? 

The truth is liking a team because of their 'tradition' is silly.  I don't have to like the Packers because of their history...or the Yankees for that matter.  Nor should you.  Moving along.

2.  Aaron Rodgers is just so fun to watch!  You have to like him!

You know who doesn't have some silly touchdown gimmick?  Tom Brady.  Peyton Manning.  I'll stick with guys who don't make a show of themselves after every touchdown.

1.  You have to respect the loyalty of their fans!

Listen, I grew up in north of Chicago.  Around 1992-1993 there was this sudden and inexplicable surge of Packers fans.  They just showed up.  You know how they are...all creepy...wearing green with strange looking zubaz.  Anyways, nobody north of Chicago and just short of the border remembers seeing anybody from 1973-1992 boasting.  They weren't loyal when Randy Wright was botching play calls and Bart Starr was making excuses from the sideline.  Remember that confused look Forrest Gregg had on his face when a play didn't work out right?  Of course you didn't.  You showed up when it was convenient.

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  • You showed up when it was convenient.

    Pack fans walking down Michigan avenue make me sick.

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