LINCOLN PARK - High fives could be seen throughout the DePaul University campus late Tuesday as news spread of several new teams joining the Big East Conference.
The hoots and hollers were the loudest inside the offices of DePaul athletic director Jean Lenti Ponsetto.
"Thank God!" exclaimed Ponsetto. "You know how old it gets getting pounded every week by Syracuse, Georgetown, and UConn? We're driving from Lincoln Park to Allstate Arena through a snowstorm just to watch our guys lose by 30 points. Now...I think we can take SMU...think."
The excitement has come on the heels of news stating that Southern Methodist, Houston, and Central Florida will all join the Big East for all sports. Plus, news is filtering out that Boise State may be joing for more than just football...and that other western schools will be included to form a Big East Western Division...a division that DePaul might just participate in.
"Southern Methodist twice a year? It's a dream come true," stated DePaul coach Oliver Purnell. "Plus, new western teams?! I've got some ideas for the conference officials."
Purnell pulled out a stack of these 'new ideas' that were nothing more than forged letters from Purnell to the Big East offices. Each letter came from various athletic directors across the western part of the nation.
"I wrote about 40 of these. See, here I'm the AD of Nebraska-Omaha might be small, and I'm not sure what they'll think of my Winona State letter...or Illinois-Springfield...but, you know...it's worth a shot."
DePaul is 4-62 in their last 66 Big East matchups. They have finished dead last out of 16 teams the past three years. Having more lowlifes join the conference would be music to the Demons ears.
"I've never been to South Dakota," stated Purnell. "But, I'd love to go. I'd also love to see Utah. Well, Southern Utah...and Northern Arizona...am I being too obvious now? Okay, I'll shutup."
New proposals to join the Big East will be due on December 31st.