Advantages to Wisconsinites Winning the Super Bowl

Advantages to Wisconsinites Winning the Super Bowl

You wouldn't think that a website like this would find advantages to the Packers winning the Super Bowl...but after much pondering; I've come across 10 solid reasons.

10. Larger women from Wisconsin should gain even more weight after weeks of celebration; thus, making Illinois women look even more attractive.

9.  Influx of Clay Matthews look-alikes to provide many laughs amongst tourists.

8.  Milwaukee to not smell as putrid upon entering...wait...yeah...alright...sorry.  No.

7.  Less need for Wisconsinites to travel to Chicago's downtown during the summer and look confused.

6.  Friendlier Paul Bunyan's staff to offer larger/more free donuts.

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"Wait...and you are? Sorry, I can't remember."-Wisconsin

5.  Even less reminiscing on Brett Favre.  (Thank You, Lord)

4.  Super Bowl victory might even propel some Wisconsinites to take an occasional shower.

3.  Wisconsinites won't feel as compelled to run three different motors during the summer time...thus, improving environment.

2.  Green Bay to be less green, more clear.

1.  Odd militia cults in North Woods more likely to talk more, shoot less...but they'll probably still shoot.

CHICAGO TRIBUNE VIDEO

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  • 11. people finally replacing their No. 4 wristwatches, t-shirts, hats, etc, with No. 12.

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