Bears vs. Seahawks: Tale of the Tape

Bears vs. Seahawks: Tale of the Tape
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Hi...I'm one slimy SOB.

While we slowly trudge through the week towards Sunday's big battle between the Bears and Seahawks, let's take a moment to compare the two teams competing:

 

BEARS

SEAHAWKS

Why mascot is tough...

Loud roar...big claws...big teeth...did we mention the roar?

Can totally pick a fish out of the water while flying at 75 mph. 

Best coach who left a program in shambles and pretends like it never happened...

N/A

Pete Carroll:  Dirtbag Extraordinaire...No, seriously.  It seriously says that on the business card.

Why quarterback is total douchebag?

Total douchebag face

Douchebag by virtue of wife...plus, an Expedia commercial for no apparent reason.

Greatest moment in post-merger NFL History (1970)

Super Bowl XX

John L. Williams bringing back the importance of the middle initial in a name.

Why helmet is better?

Old fashioned 'C', simple, strong

The Seahawk is angry.  Very, very angry.  And multi-colored.

Why fanbase is better?

Best collection of mustachioed men outside of Philly and Green Bay.

Creates multiple offside calls by virtue of crowd noise.  Plus, hot Starbucks being thrown at your face f'n hurts if you're a visiting player.

Best worst coach in team history

Dave Wannstedt.  Mr. Stammer.  Could've used the vocal coach from 'The King's Speech.'

Dennis Erickson.  Took over loaded U. Miami program.  Then took over to coach Rick Mirer.  Talk about your all-time backfires.

Players with best adult film names?

Jay Cutler, Lance Briggs, Caleb Hainie, Hunter Hillenmeyer, Lance Louis, Patrick Mannelly, D.J. Moore, Craig Steltz, Major Wright

Raheem Brock, Kennard Cox, Beno Giacomini, Clint Gresham, Sean Locklear, J.P. Losman, Chester Pitts, Isaiah Stanback, Golden Tate, Charlie Whitehurst

Oddest school where player went?

Abilene Christian:  What Bears player hasn't gone to ACU?

Ruvell Martin- Saginaw State University...located in the most forgotten state in our union: Saginaw.

What people misunderstand the most about the state in which these teams play?

Illinois:  The 's' is silent...

Washington:  Not in D.C.

Why Bears will win?

Devin Hester makes a big play on special teams, win turnover battle, run the ball.

Seahawks' deep game against Saints won't be as valuable against Bears' deep coverage in Cover-2 system.

Why Seahawks will win?

Young defensive backfield making critical zone mistakes

Matt Hasselbeck is officially back as the 2005 Matt Hasselbeck.

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