Aries (March 21-April 19) Your friends will go through a tragic loss. However, that's what you get for robbing a liquor store.
Taurus (April 20--May 20) This week, use independent activities that emphasize personal strengths. Too bad your only strength is beating the 1986 version of Zelda.
Gemini (May 21--June 21) The variety of possibilities are endless. No. Seriously. They are. This is because you are working on calculus homework.
Cancer (June 22--July 22) This week, you hatch new plans and wait until later to put them into action. Just like everything else in your sad/pathetic life.
Leo (July 23--Aug. 22) Recall a dream or create one today as you seek excitement in a relationship. Then, when your girlfriend breaks up with you, you can recall the non-excitement of your brief relationship.
Virgo (Aug. 23--Sept. 22) Work to balance your urge for independence with passion. But, you may still want to keep your urge for indepdence...considering you are leading a pack of reolutionaries into your contry's parliament...and making out with a maid prior to the break-in probably isn't the best use of your time.
Libra (Sept. 23--Oct. 22) You begin to wonder what you were thinking when you started out. It probably didn't involve a broken down car, being in the middle of a street fight, and winding up in the back of the squad car; but, hey, shit happens.
Scorpio (Oct. 23--Nov. 21) If you worry by yourself, you won't get your questions answered. If you worry with others, they will get answered...through a mass suicide.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22--Dec. 21) Emails or calls leave you wondering if you want to be part of the group. What's to 'wonder' when there are free donuts involved?
Capricorn (Dec. 22--Jan. 19) You may have felt a bit depressed, but now your thoughts move ahead toward logical, harmonious outcomes. And none of them involve a relapse.
Aquarius (Jan. 20--Feb. 18) Urgent travel requires multiple changes of plans. Leave the kids at home. It's the grand re-opening of Woodfield's K&G Fashion Superstore.
Pisces (Feb. 19--March 20) After a few moments of pondering financial news, you shift into an imaginative sphere to create more expansive possibilities. Unfortunately, none of them involve paying the mortgage on time.
Filed under: horoscope
Tags: Chicago Tough Horoscope, horoscope
