October 10th, 1955- The Syracuse Nationals defeat the Fort Wayne Pistons four games to three to win the NBA Title. Or as Fort Wayne residents call the series 'The Last Significant Thing We Did'.
April 9th, 1957- The St. Louis Hawks defeat the Boston Celtics in Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The Celtics played the game in St. Louis without Bill Russell, who wasn't allowed in the arena due to the State of Missouri's "Not So Fast, Blackie! Act of 1957".
April 8th, 1963- The Detroit Tigers claim future 31 game winner Denny McLain from the Chicago White Sox for $25,000. McLain would later say that the odds of that happening were 'like 5:2'.
April 8th, 1966- The American Football League names Al Davis as its commissioner. Davis begins his tenure by moving the AFL headquarters from Kansas City to Denver. Then back to Kansas City...before threatening to move back to Denver.
April 6th, 1970- President Richard Nixon is delayed from getting to RFK Stadium on time to throw out the first pitch for the Senators opener. Word is Nixon was 'stuck' at a 'hotel' doing 'research'.
April 6th, 1973- Ron Bloomberg of the New York Yankees becomes the first designated hitter in baseball history. Shortly thereafter, he is greeted at first base by a happy glad-handed Satan
April 9th, 1974- San Diego Padres owner Ray Kroc addresses his fans stating, "I apologize to you. I've never seen such stupid baseball in my life." Kroc would retract his statement in 2007 after watching Ronny Cedeno overslide second base after a walk.
April 8th, 1978- The Buffalo Braves play their final game in Buffalo before moving to San Diego/LA. The team will rename itself the Clippers in what is known as 'The Worst Renaming of a Franchise in Sports History'.
April 4th, 1983- NC State upsets Houston for the national title. Sports writers across America say that the loss was due to Clyde's inability to glide, and Hakeem's inability to dream.
April 8th, 1989- California Angels starter Jim Abbott loses his first game in the big leagues. After the game, Abbott contemplates doing away with arms altogether.
April 5th, 1993- Michigan forward Chris Webber calls a timeout that costs the Wolverines the national championship. Webber apologizes to his teammates by giving them a quarter of his salary for the year.
April 4th, 2001- Jaromir Jagr scores 50 goals for the second time in his career. Unfortunately, the prolific goal scoring doesn't stop the fact that he's a long haired Euro-trash douchebag.